It's anonymous and you're among friends.

So tell me the truth.

Do you tip the post man this time of year?

You know you're supposed to, right?

I don't have a really great post man.  At least a couple of times a month, I get someone else's mail and have to schlep it to them.  But then today, he walked my mail up to the door because there was a lot.  I'm trying to decide - does he sincerely care that much about my mail and my life that he was trying to make things easier for me - or does he want some loot?

I'm on the fence - do I tip - do I not? Maybe I get crappy mail service because I'm the neighborhood cheapskate. And how much do I have to give him? Can't I just make him some cookies like I do everyone else? It'd save me a sheckle or two.

So - this time of year - who do you tip? But let us in on the real scandal - who do you refuse to tip?  Do tell.....

In case you thought I was getting a big head...

Apparently, my children thought, in spite of my hearty protests, that I would win that little race I was in.

Yeah.  Right-o, kids.  Like I can zip through 3 miles in 17 minutes like the winner did. Uh huh.

As I came running up to the end, I saw my little family waving at me and cheering.  I was so happy to see them!  And I stepped to the side to give them high-5s before crossing the finish line (thereby adding an easy 24 minutes to my run. Otherwise, I WOULD have won, ya know.)

As I was high-5ing my curly-sue 3.0 she said, "Mama - you are NOT a winner!  You are NOT A WINNER!"

Thanks, kid.  I limped on over to the finish line and called it a day.

Apparently, the folks who finished ahead of me were winners. To her, I was the big loser.

She kept telling me over and over - for most of the way back to the car - that I was not a winner.  That combined with the 1.0 and 2.o explaining to me how much less sweaty the other folks were than me really keeps a gal humble, ya know.

I do believe my children will cross stitch this into a sampler for me someday.

Now for the obligatory...

...life is like a race post.

I know - you've read them before. But here are the thoughts that were going through my still-naturally-dark-brown-Mormon-mother-head as I was a jogging my 5K yesterday...a day that does not have to live in infamy!

Let me start by saying - I am a fierce runner...when it's so cold I can't feel my legs.  Anything over about 50 degrees, though, and I stink.  Tis true.  Mr. Mormon says I should be an Alaskan racer. I concur.  Yesterday - RACE DAY - the high was in the 80s.  Ohhh - poor Mama.

Anyhoo - I knew the odds were stacked against me. But I'm all about persevering when I feel like it, and I felt like it, so I went for it.

I didn't study a lot for the race. I didn't know the exact path or how many folks would be there. I didn't know where the official start and end points were and I didn't even know where to park. I've noticed a theme in my life - if I'm nervous about something, I'd rather know less and figure it out when I get there.  For many, knowledge is power. To me, when I'm stressed, knowledge is nervousness!  I'm glad to have not known in advance that part of the path was through a cemetery and that there was virtually no shade to escape to in my black, heat-absorbing MAKE IT WORK shirt (thanks, MM!  I channeled my inner Tim Gunn!)

So, I hobbled along and just let the road take me where it took me. I had a general idea of what was going on (running around a lake in Mormonville for 3.1 miles) and for me, that was enough. Sometimes, people were behind me for a bit - and then they passed me - and then they were behind me...  

As I was putzing along, some men were just deadset to get ahead of several of us.  In fact, one gang of guys was so adamant that they would pass some of us -they cheated and took a short cut.  Ohhh - that got me hot for a couple of minutes until I realized, like your mother always teaches you, they're really only cheating themselves. A mile later, when I ran back into them they stayed ahead of me for a bit, but quickly had to stop - and one man ended up dry-heaving in the bushes.  I'm sure he "beat" a lot of people, but in the end, he didn't beat me. I passed his dry-heaving-too-small-shorts-self and knew he was suffering because he had chosen to walk for a long time across the short cut and now, the heat was getting to him. Sure, I was on the slowpoke but steady path, but the heat and exhaustion wasn't so overwhelming that way.

And isn't that how life is?  You don't know your exact path, but you have a general idea.  And there are folks who are just deadset to pass you on by - and maybe they will win - but in the end - it's all about just finishing. Whether you are first or last, your success is all about having tried and finished.  Sure - it'd be great to finish first, looking smoking hot, having some plaques on the wall, and in the cutest, sweat-free outfit. But that's gravy...not substance.

I believe in life, many folks are passing me by right now.  I am at a near standstill at having lots of big-deal-accomplishments.  I am not a success in a workplace and I don't always know exactly what is on my schedule for tomorrow. It might be helping someone find a ride. It might be going out with missionaries or listening to someone who is struggling. But I keep on jogging and putting one foot in front of the other. And while I don't know where the path will take me, I know that at the finish line, I will have traveled just as far as everyone else and I will have made it home. And that is winning the race.

Whine, whine, whine, complain, complain, complain

(cue the soap opera music)

This week in....As the Ward Turns....

...one young family finds out stage 3 cancer has metastasized and is now stage 4.

...a family loses their home and is forced to move.

...a young mother miscarries the weekend her family is moving across the country.

...two more families lose their jobs.

...a mother of 5 (the oldest child in elementary school) learns she has Lupus.

...a woman who has a crisis of faith, and when I don't have time to listen as much as she'd like, she hangs up on me.

As Relief Society President, I find I am just not that sympathetic to random whining. Additionally, I find that this is a problem. 

Your husband is laid off - talk to me. You are ill - share.  You get headaches at church and have decided to take a couple of months off - maybe you should not try to get me to feel tremendous sympathy for that one.

I wrestle with this every week, and I've had so much patience and compassion extended to me throughout my life that I try to model that to others.  But I think the faces I am making are giving me away that I think some of this....is bunk.

In my church-y job, I hear a lot of sad things. Large portions of heartbreak with sides of doubt and shame are often on my weekly menu. I try to compartmentalize individual problems and not make comparisons. I know the pain that comes from having your struggle set up against another's and you hear, "Just think - it could be worse!  It could be like So-and-So's....."  I've done that and seen the hurt it causes - and I've been on the receiving end and thought, "Thanks for sharing - now put your head down."

The point being, I know better.

But I am about at my WIT'S END with a couple of gals in my ward who have decided that things are sooooooooooooo hard for them. They require inordinate amounts of attention and when I reflect on their "problems", it's hard for me to not shout, "Sis. Blah's husband is DYING - can we talk about your church headaches and how the three-hour-block is harder for you than everyone else because you are sensitive AND hypoglycemic later, please?"

I know that would be wrong, but it's a large temptation on my part.

Last night at the Ward Christmas Party, I was speaking with a sister who shared with that she is feeling overwhelmed.  Her husband loses his job at the end of December and she has 5 kids, and learned she was pregnant with baby number 6 when she went to get her tubes tied. Now, the little Wombie she is growing  is having issues and she's in fear of miscarrying, which is an emotional nightmare for her (she feels she's wished that child gone at times - and now it might happen.)  Her middle son was just diagnosed as Autistic and she's stressed out.

Duh.

As I was speaking with her, another woman (no Mom - not THAT one) was waiting to talk to me.  Sis. Overwhelmed let me go saying something like, "I need to quit bending your ear - Sis. Eager is waiting to speak to you."

I turn to Sis. Eager who wants to share with me how I can better decorate for the Ward Christmas party and how she'd like me to let someone know that we should not have as much food at church functions. Also, she feels there should be more focus on service at church activities and women who have had multiple children should not be receiving baby showers. These things have been on her mind and she needs to get them off her chest as she is no longer enjoying church on Sunday and has thought about not coming back because of it.

Aaaaaaaaalrighty then.

So talk to me, Good Peeps. How do I make every sister feel like she can share and she has support - but at the same time - help folks to see that there is a bigger picture and maybe, their dramas shouldn't be as overwhelming as they have let them become? So far, I've tried:

• explaining that life is meant to be a time of growth and learning, not of pedicures and spa visits.
  
• helping them understand that real life doesn't look like TV.
  
• encouraging them to serve others so they have a clearer perspective of what real problems are.
  
• setting them up as Visiting Teachers of sisters who are having a hard time (that went over like a lead balloon and is another post all its own.)
  
• telling them, nicely, to knock it off.
  
• giving their problems lots of attention so they feel better.  BIG MISTAKE
• praying for them.
• practicing inner eye-rolling but otherwise, plastering on the Look of Concern I was issued when I took over this job.

Help?

Run Mama MC

I am not really a super athletic person.  Roughly translated, that means, "I suck at sports."

I can kick your butt at many things so long as they are not sport, game, or intelligence-related. But an athlete, I am not.

From the time I was little, I wanted to be a runner. While I huffed and labored, I would see kids blithely running past me on the school track and I'd think, "Man - it stinks I can't run better. My dang asthma is always holding me back!"

Except, ya know, I didn't have asthma.

What I did (do?) have were really horrible shin splints. For as long as I could remember, I have had a lot of leg pain when I do much more than sit on my bum. Living in a mostly-tile home leaves me sore at the end of each day.  Going to the mall or Disney or someplace that requires a lot of walking leaves me limpy. I don't let it stop me, but I do enjoy whining and getting some sympathy from Mr. Mormon.

After Jackie's Near Death Experience 2008, I looked at my big fat bum and decided something had to change and I challenged myself to run a 5K before the year was over.  In my mind's eye, I wanted to be like those carefree kids running all smooth-and-easy around the track at school.   Knowing it's nearly impossible for my (svelte, trim, often tanned, and extremely long) legs to take the impact of running on the road for any extended period of time, I knew this was a pretty dang lofty goal. For most of you, it'd be no biggie. It should NOT have been a biggie for me, except, I'm a wimp with legs that don't enjoy impact.  I believe I could be a champion in an Elliptical Machine 5K.  But ask me to jog on a road for 3 miles.....gosh - my legs start to ache just at the thought.

Recently, I realized the year was nearly over and I'd not run a 5K.  In fact, I haven't even waltzed or skateboarded a 5K. So I began training and registered myself in the last 5K Mormon-ville was offering this year. 

I googled all sorts of info on shin splints and corrective exercises. Every shin splint-stretch on YouTube has been tried by Yours Mormon-ly.  I had my feet examined at a runner's store here and had them fit me for special shoes to try to alleviate some pain. Still, after a minute of jogging, tears would be welling from the sheer torture.

But I kept on. Because really, I'm one tough broad. I don't have a tremendous number of redeeming qualities - but freakish tenacity is sort of my claim to fame.  Each day I added a few more seconds to my (pathetically slow and painful) jog - until I finally mastered 3 miles of limping on a treadmill.

SHUT UP!  Whodda thunk the chunkette housewife could pull it off?

Then - I was off to the road.  OK - that stunk.  I couldn't run more than 6 minutes at a time on the asphalt.  The pain was so tremendous I almost called Mr. Mormon to come and get me as I didn't think I could even walk home. I gave up for about a week. I figured on race day, I'd just go to my treadmill and limp my 5K there.  I'd pretend someone was cheering for me and that I got the free t-shirt for finishing.  I'd call it a day and save myself the embarrassment and misery.

But eventually, that aforementioned freakish tenacity raised its freakish head and said, "Hey freak - let's try one more time."

So I did.

I kept on trying 

and trying.

And today!

I ran.....

on the sidewalks of my neighborhood....

for 3.1 miles.

I am happier than when I got married...happier than when I met my children for the first time...happier than cruising with Kahlik.

(That's some hyperbole for effect, folks. But I am really happy.)

And I'm sort of proud. It took me forever to do something that probably most of you reading here can do already - or could do in a week - but for me, it was a major accomplishment.

I run my 5K later this month, but I don't know that finishing that will make me any happier than I am today. I conquered my body. There's a lot about this body that doesn't work properly and that gives me fits, and I don't conquer it very often. More often than not, I'm conquered by it as I pop pills to keep me going. But today - I  won. 

Body: 362,000 wins  Mama:1 (but it's the one that I really wanted to count!)

Never say I'm not a problem solver

How was your Thanksgiving, folks? I thought about Nancy Face as we were deep frying turkeys. I must say that the smell did traipse on in the house and smelled delish, and I wondered if her turkey smell would make it indoors, as well.  We made two turkeys and have - ohhhh - an entire turkey plus some left.  

Leftovers.

Something about leftovers just does me in. They make me nervous. I don't want to waste. I feel like I've been entrusted with this food (that frankly, no one else wanted) and I don't want to let it down....I don't want to disappoint my family and let it rot in the back of the fridge. 

I see the food and feel overwhelmed. Ziplocs and Rubbermaid containers take over my refrigerator and I get a bit apoplectic.  The fact that all that tasty goodness is entrusted to my care makes me apprehensive. I wonder to myself, "Can we possibly eat all this before it gets fuzzy?"  

"Do I have leftover stuffing recipes?"  

"Will the children eat gravy-cicles if I swear to them Santa feeds them to the reindeer?"

The very thought of everything going sour makes me think, "Mama - do your part and eat some of it now, woman!" Each time I open the fridge door, I feel I must sample something to help it disappear.  If I eat another chunk of food every hour, eventually, it will all be gone - and none will be wasted.  

Right?

The problem is, I'm going to pop soon. I can't eat much more. The kids don't eat a lot and Mr. Mormon doesn't really help get rid of the food. He doesn't have dinner guilt.  Get this! If he doesn't want to eat it - he just doesn't!  He doesn't keep picking at it until finally, he whittles it to nothing. It doesn't bother him in the slightest that a can and a half of cranberry sauce is going to die in the fridge on our watch.  He just ignores it!

Men.

Clearly, he is no help to me to get all this food gone. I need a partner. And that is why I have made the decision to get a tapeworm.

A tapeworm will be my holiday food friend!  I just swallow my little buddy and eat all I want....and all he wants too!  The food will not go to waste and....the food will not go to (my) waist.  WIN WIN!  Tapeworms are hungry and I have a lot of food sitting here needing to be eaten.  All I need to do is make a quick, wiggly swallow. Then I can sit back and wait for my little buddy to do all the work.

Ahhhhhh - problem solved! Just another thing to be grateful for.....tapeworms.  

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Gift giving ideas

It has come to my attention that I have some faithful dude-followers on this here blog.  Unabashedly, this is one of the most masculine sites on the Net, so it makes sense you would find yourself perusing my pages.

Duh.

I have sympathy for men these days.  In my almost humble opinion, the world has become rather girl-i-fied.  I’m noticing fewer hunting-plaid-man-recliners in my friends’ homes and more wing back chairs with matching ottomans.  There are fewer BBQs in my neighborhood - and more sushi nights (hello - men don’t want sushi - they want to gnaw hunks of bloody meat.)  I’ve spotted men in IKEA lately - and come on - we all know you don’t want to be there. The glassed over look in your eyes says it all. 

So, may this post be a respite from the rest of the womanly world for ya, boys. This video’s for you. And let me share with you my simple holiday wish -  may you enjoy less Spice Cake and more Duct Tap

(Pause my player first...or, ya know, don't and try to decipher the dialogue through the music.)

Things that don't suck

It's nearly Thanksgiving and down here in the House of Mormon and there is much to be thankful for.  There are also some stresses, but I beat their butts down every morning and keep on chugging. I'm dope like that.

I'm grateful that it's nearly time to chow on some turkey because I really love (deep-fried) turkey and I only ever eat it - ohhhh - once a year!  I don't know why I don't kill giant birds and stuff my face with them more frequently.  It's cheap and tasty and .... ya know ... cheap and tasty!  (Note to self - eat more turkey.  Especially when Jackie Oh provides it so it's totally free!)

I'm also very pleased that Mr. Mormon's old job is letting him hang out for a while and that he has another job in hand (as well as another interview for his dream job.)  It's nice to have employment in this crap economy. And while I'm always appreciative of how hard Mr. Mormon works to sustain me in the lifestyle I've grown accustomed to, the situation has helped me learn more about myself, as well.  I know now that I'm capable of tightening up much more than I had realized and I also learned that possible unemployment is TOTALLY great for my figure.  My good butt jeans are back on....well....my good butt.  YAHOO!  Thanks Mr. Mormon for getting canned!  My butt totally appreciates it!  (And who are we kidding? Your eyes totally appreciate it, too.)

And rounding up today's post on things that please me...I'd like to let the world know I'm thoroughly stoked that it's cold here and I'm getting to layer my clothes. I look so much better layered.  Most folks do, in fact.  I feel like Mother Nature has smiled on me every day I get to layer clothing due to cold.  Thanks Mother Nature!

So - whatcha loving about life lately, good homeys?

Anyone else tired of being a Prop 8 Punch Bag Bob?

I'm so tired of taking one for the team about Prop 8. If one more person tells me how they like me, but hate my church, I might smack 'em. It wouldn't be OK to say, "I like you, but your outfit and hair - maaaaaaan - those are atrocious!" We wouldn't think of saying that would we?  That's because our mamas raised us better! But when it comes to religion, folks feel free to say what they want.

Guess what?  It's not cool anymore. Anthrax-hoaxes at temples?  Lame.

I found the following on someone's blog and wanted to share it. It's my sentiment right now. Everyone can blame Mormons for the vote, but it wasn't an exclusively LDS mandate.

1. Mormons make up less than 2% of the population of California. There are approximately 800,000 LDS out of a total population of approximately 34 million.

2. Mormon voters were less than 5% of the yes vote. If one estimates that 250,000 LDS are registered voters (the rest being children), then LDS voters made up 4.6% of the Yes vote and 2.4% of the total Proposition 8 vote.

3. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons) donated no money to the Yes on 8 campaign. Individual members of the Church were encouraged to support the Yes on 8 efforts and, exercising their constitutional right to free speech, donated whatever they felt like donating.

4. The No on 8 campaign raised more money than the Yes on 8 campaign. Unofficial estimates put No on 8 at $38 million and Yes on 8 at $32 million, making it the most expensive non-presidential election in the country.

5. Advertising messages for the Yes on 8 campaign are based on case law and real-life situations. The No on 8 supporters have insisted that the Yes on 8 messaging is based on lies. Every Yes on 8 claim is supported.

6. The majority of our friends and neighbors voted Yes on 8. Los Angeles County voted in favor of Yes on 8. Ventura County voted in favor of Yes on 8.

7. African Americans overwhelmingly supported Yes on 8. Exit polls show that 70% of Black voters chose Yes on 8. This was interesting because the majority of these voters voted for President-elect Obama. No on 8 supporters had assumed that Obama voters would vote No on 8

8. The majority of Latino voters voted Yes on 8. Exit polls show that the majority of Latinos supported Yes on 8 and cited religious beliefs (assumed to be primarily Catholic).

9. The Yes on 8 coalition was a broad spectrum of religious organizations. Catholics, Evangelicals, Protestants, Orthodox Jews, Muslims – all supported Yes on 8. It is estimated that there are 10 million Catholics and 10 million Protestants in California. Mormons were a tiny fraction of the population represented by Yes on 8 coalition members.

10. Not all Mormons voted in favor of Proposition 8. Our faith accords that each person be allowed to choose for him or her self. Church leaders have asked members to treat other members with "civility, respect and love," despite their differing views.

11. The Church did not violate the principle of separation of church and state. This principle is derived from the First Amendment to the United States Constitution, which reads, "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof . . ." The phrase "separation of church and state", which does not appear in the Constitution itself, is generally traced to an 1802 letter by Thomas Jefferson, although it has since been quoted in several opinions handed down by the United States Supreme Court in recent years. The LDS Church is under no obligation to refrain from participating in the political process, to the extent permitted by law. U.S. election law is very clear that Churches may not endorse candidates, but may support issues. The Church has always been very careful on this matter and occasionally (not often) chooses to support causes that it feels to be of a moral nature.

12. Supporters of Proposition 8 did exactly what the Constitution provides for all citizens: they exercised their First Amendment rights to speak out on an issue that concerned them, make contributions to a cause that they support, and then vote in the regular electoral process. For the most part, this seems to have been done in an open, fair, and civil way. Opponents of 8 have accused supporters of being bigots, liars, and worse. The fact is, we simply did what Americans do – we spoke up, we campaigned, and we voted.

(If anyone would like to fact check all that - feel free. I started, but I'm getting tired now.  Any takers?)

I guess the biggest point I'd like to make is.....more folks in CA wanted it to pass than didn't want it to pass. Punct.  Similar amendments came up in other states and they also passed.  I wish no one to be hurt by legislation - but folks, it wasn't just Mormons who weren't interested in gay marriages being recognized. I'm sorry about that.  I cannot imagine the pain it must cause.

But guess what - just because I'm LDS and have a tender heart - that doesn't mean I want to read 

1. untruths about what happened

2. the unkind comments about Mormons that are now deemed acceptable.

3.  that I am close-minded, ignorant, uneducated, backwards, misguided, etc. because I continue to love my religion.

4.  that I probably live in a bubble and know no gay people, therefore, I shouldn't get to vote.

5.  that Mormons are uneducated, and that's the whole problem.

Or, ya know, anything of the like.

I feel if proponents of gay marriage have a problem with the LDS church, they should do what Pubs did to the Dixie Chicks a few years ago.....don't join in. Don't buy our albums or go to Deseret Industries and for pity's sake - don't send your kid to a LDS college. Never accept help from Mormons when they clean up after your hurricane and stay away from the Hallmark Chanel on Sunday mornings when they run Music and the Spoken Word. But maybe it's time to leave your LDS friends and neighbors  alone and use your energies to overturn Prop 8 or keep it from happening somewhere else if it is that important to you. Put your money and time where your mouth is....you know, like those pesky Mormons.

Thanks for hearing me out.

This week in RATE THAT SIN!

Sure - we recognize the above list as sins.  But periodically, I like to request that you, my gentle homeys, help me rate some of the less easily categorized transgressions.  Ponder with me, once again, to determine if this is a sin? And if so, is it

Totally Telestial

Somewhat Satanic

or should I be

Auf-ed to Outer Darkness?

So - riddle me this? Is it a sin to have a potty word in your favorite exercise song if you really REALLY run faster to that song and you somewhat consider that, well, a spiritual experience? Does anything change *if* you find yourself, when in extreme shin pain, turning your iPod up louder to better hear the angry potty words and then, uhh, smiling?

Mama's handy tip of the day

If you purchase a new brasierre to better support you during workouts....

And if, saaaaaaay, the undergarment is not offering the anticipated benefits and, in fact, rather hurts when you move more than one inch in any direction...

Then....it is a worthwhile endeavor to check and see if said undergarment is on, uhhhh, inside out. Because you might have just really hurt yourself for nothing.

Additionally, I'd advise one to check on the inside-out-status of the support item before spending, let's see, most of the entire day flinching in pain at movements even as small as a yawn or, well, the raise of an eyebrow.  Really - just check it out.  

I'm just saying. You'll thank me later for that handy tip, homeys.

Excuse me! I think I've got a heartache

Ohh - the hits just keep on coming, homeys!

First, Mr. Mormon has kidney stones over Halloween. (Fun!)  Theeeeen - the family gets the stomach flu.  (Colonics are popular - how about some old school diarrhea? Is that chic?) Next lackluster moment - McCain loses (and explaining abortion to your nine and seven year olds isn't all it's cracked up to be - just so's ya know) and nooooooooooooow Mr. Mormon discovers he is only guaranteed work until 31 December of this year.

No - I'm not kidding.

2.0 suggested that Mr. Mormon leave his current career and become a famous SCUBA diver. I'm somewhat interested in that career path. I feel the world needs another Jacques Cousteau - and why couldn't it be Mr. Mormon?   Sure - there are his constant skin cancer scares and motion sickness setbacks, but he's all about making a comeback.  2.0 also volunteered to work on cruise ships to support us and 1.0 told me I might as well get a job seeing as the children are pretty much grown up already.  

In other news - I'm training to run a 5K and haven't kerplopped over dead, yet. Optimistically, I trudge to the gym each morning and  start to feel all good about my running. That is - I feel self-assured until some cute young thaaaang jumps on the treadmill next to me, cranks it up to 6.5, and blasts past me.  (Well, not REALLY past me, as you know, then she'd have to run through the plate glass window as we are on a treadmill and all - but work with me.  I'm missing McCain.)  I silently wish Miss Thaaaaang dead with the power of my mind and tell myself she might be hot, young, and a fast runner, but does she know how to clean a fishbowl in under 5 minutes before visitors come over?  Probably not! SO THERE SKINNY HOT CHICK!

Some perkier developments (no - I didn't get the breast augmentation -sheesh!)... Both my big girls got straight As this 9-weeks and 2.0 is back at gymnastics post broken arm.  WOOHOO!  Additionally, 3.0 is apparently, the Duck Whisperer. It was pre-K day at the farm on Monday, and my baby was the ONLY kid to catch a duck and snuggle it in the petting zoo. She would sneak up behind them and grab 'em and we'd all laugh! Of course, with our luck, she will probably come down with Bird Flu. But then we can sue and pay the bills. Oh yes! Our bad luck may finally - literally! - pay off!

Body fluids are your friends

Usually, getting a new Bishop is fun and exciting. Unless, of course, you are the auxiliary President who most closely associates with the Bishop and you are afraid for who will be called. Our Bishop was called to the Stake Presidency and that is lovely for him and for all of us, I suppose.

But now, I'll get a greenie. Or even worse - I'll get someone who's done it before and is set in his ways and crotchety.

I heard once in an Escape class that if victims want to get away from the perp quickly, two of the most effective things they can do is to urinate on themselves or vomit. 

I already have a plan of action for my first ward council meeting.

Do I hear a double dog dare?

I might use the old puke and pee on some other folks, as well.

I think I can say I love all the women in my ward. I can't think of any I don't love, at least.

There are a few I'd like to spank, though.  :)  I have a sister I've done about 4 food orders for and she's never filled any of them.  But then she comes back weeks later asking for another.

Then there's the sister whose ideal food order for 2 people for 2 weeks included 34 pounds of meat, 24 desserts, and ohhh, about 20 pounds of flour.  She didn't love me when I told her we needed to menu plan and that this order needed an adjustment.

I was recently stormed out on and had a door slammed at me for telling someone she needed to ask the Bishop for a food order, like everyone else.  There was an interesting conversation that I had lately wherein it was determined I should personally pay for folks to drive others to the storehouse since it wouldn't be right for me to ask someone to serve another for nothing and it also wouldn't be right to ask the church to reimburse people for their gas. And finding out that sisters didn't attend RS Temple Night (they said they couldn't because they had a major athletic event the next day) and I discovered later that they went to see High School Musical 3 instead was yet another un-uplifting moment of this Presidency.

But there is plenty of good.  (Think of the good, Mama.....concentrate...concentrate....) In fact, 99% of this job is just lovely and I enjoy serving folks and being a sounding board. I am honored that women let me in their lives and share their most private issues with me so we can problem solve and help them get ahead.

I got not one but TWO lovely emails last week telling me what a great President I am. How nice is THAT? I was amazed anyone would take the time out for that and am honored anyone would think I don't suck.  Overall, there is a lot of joy and happiness to be had in this calling. 

But that's not to say I wouldn't mind puking and more-purposefully-tinkling to get out of a couple of jobs sometimes.  I'm just saying....

Back in the saddle again!

Hola homeys!

I don't know how many of you are left - weep.

I had to make my blog disappear-y for a while seeing as my darling ward was on a hunt to find it. Now mind you, they have the family blog link, so you'd think they'd let me off the hook - but nooooo. Their search effort combined with my lack of computer (I dropped it one too many times - oopsies) caused me to shut down for a bit.

But now I'm re-grouped and ready for bear. Bare?  I never can remember.

Anyone still care to play along?

The Axe

Blessed day of peace and rest. Mr. Mormon got the axe from the Bishopric! 

HAAAAAAALLELUJAH!

HAAAAAAALLELUJAH!

Now, I am top banana in this monkey palace. :)

Lots of folks had such nice things to say to Mr. Mormon on Sunday and he was thanked for his service. The Primary President broke down crying several times when he was telling her how nice it was to have served with her. I think they've been through so many trials together, and it was an emotional time for her to think she has someone new to break in.

Now, he's back off to the clerk's quorum, where he is happy, un-stressed, and not in charge of Cub Scouts, Deacons, Primary, the library, Activities Committee, 11-Year-Old Scouts...oh he is doing the happy dance of joy!

Having a member of the Bishopric married to the Relief Society President was insane.  But it did have some perks that I will miss.  Sitting next to him in meetings was nice...but sitting next to him in sacrament will be nicer.  We still won't drive together to church, so we're continuing our 9 year separation that way - but he will no longer be at church on Sundays for 8 hours and on Wednesday nights and most Saturdays.....AT ALL!  He has a tricked out-retro styling office to hide from Sunday School in and I have a less-stressed, happy hubby.  Life is good!!

Riddle me this?

Why is it that female Olympic swimmers are covered from neck to ankle in a state of the art, NASA inspired suit...

...and female Olympic volleyball champs are in skimpy bikinis?

If my bits and pieces were diving for balls in the sand, I'd want that top outfit on, myself. 

This week in, "Is this a sin?"....

...we examine the level of sinfulness of the following transgression.

---Forgetting it is Fast Sunday, and gulping a Diet Dr. Pepper to recover from a friend's shocking email revelation.

Rate that sin.

Totally Telestial

Somewhat Satanic

Aufed in Outer Darkness

You know your family...

...has an engineer in it when everyone spends the better part of their weekend playing with a physics tool on the computer to make a Roub Gouldberg machine.

You know you are old when you go into Old Navy to find a new frock and realize you've owned every style featured in the store at some point in your life.  

You know you are old and crochetey when you refuse to buy anything because you already lived long enough to learn - 

A. white pants look good on virtually no one larger than a size 2.

B.  there are few virtuous reasons to wear a gold lame bathing suit.

C.  baby doll dresses look best on folks with no breasts, hips, or bums. Or, well, baby dolls.

You know you have OCD about placement and symmetry in decorating when you  are discontented with how some IKEA storage boxes are looking in the corner of the family room, so you seriously consider an addition for better chi.

You know something is off in the world when you see plenty of normal folks driving cars when you are out on the road - but in the DMV, you are the only one doesn't seem to have a steel plate in her head.

Organizing Visiting Teaching is really...

...just like playing a giant Bejeweled game of people.

Think about it.

If you were ever a Visiting Teaching Coordinator, you know that comment just spoke to your soul.  You're just trying to get three in a row.   But then, one person moves, and suddenly, everything slides down a spot and something goes ka-boom.  And just when you get it all fixed and in place - you level up and start all over.

Dang profound, isn't it?

Pods are not just storage units

Help me good folks inside my computer!

I am looking for some great podcasts to grow attached to in my copious spare time. Any recommendations? Be aware that I'm a nerdy girl and like educational and churchy things, as well as news stories - generally - I prefer things that make my brain bigger.   Things for kids would be cool, too.

So?  What'cha got for me?  

Thank you, people of the interwebs!

Seriously!

Between Mr. Mormon and myself, we're rather in the thick of dealing with crud.

His family has the unsavory task of dealing with his recently deceased  and longtime estranged father's "stuff." He's found two suitcases full of papers to go through and there's still much more to find. But he needs a hazmat team to help him finish. 

No, seriously. Hazmat.

I'm trying like mad to get 3.0 squared away and get some speech services provided to her through our insurance, which is  a logistics nightmare at best.  Call the therapist - call the doctor - call the teacher - call the doctor back - call the therapist back - call the billing department back - call the insurance - call the insurance - call the insurance - email the therapist and the billing department..... 

We have a PPO, but we still have to use in-network providers or else. (Sort of makes you wonder why it's a PPO?)   But there are no in-network speech providers in my area. Or within the next 75 miles. And - gosh - there are NO approved speech therapists in all of Florida for my baby.

Seriously.

What do YOU think the chances are that they are going to cover my kid's speech?

Yeah - that's about what I thought.  At least I didn't have to traipse through bodily fluids to get my task completed. Mr. Mormon wins there. Fear Factor family issues trump my multi-media insurance capers. 

On top of all of that, my car needs an oil change, I need to make a total of six doctors' appointments for the kids and I, I continue to be coughing up a lung,  and my Scooba is still dead so I'm having to keep it old school in mopping.  (Old school meaning I use the carpet cleaner's hard floor attachment - I'm not REALLY mop-mopping. Puh-lease. I don't even own one anymore.) 

I wish I could hire someone to sort this all out for us. 

Seriously - I want to hire someone.  So - are any of you willing? I'll pay you what I make an hour to handle this for us.  Any takers? 

Thanks in advance!  You're so nice.  Seriously!  Call me when you're done - I'm going to the beach.

A (slow) day in the life of a Relief Society President

early-ish am - Roll outta bed and discover your husband will not be going to church today.  Do an (internal) happy dance because this means you have HELP getting kids ready for religion.

9:45 am - Curse that you promised 2.0 you'd curl her hair since Daddy was home and Mama was less-stressed than usual.

10:20 am - Rejoice as you've only had one call (and 3 emails) about church all morning  - and leave to go to church.

10:22 - Re-enter the house for all the things you forgot you have to deliver to folks at church. Smooch 3.0 good-bye again and (further) rejoice that you are minus one kid during Sacrament Meeting!

10:50 - Arrive at church. Immediately become surrounded with people wanting stuff/you/an opinion/an ear.  

10:59 - Apologize to a sister for saying "No" to her before she even got out her question (you could see that hymnal in her paw and suspected no good could come of it.)  Wonder if your menstrual cycle is on its way and know that this sacrament meeting will have greater significance seeing as you are in the midst of the repentance process with Hymnal Sister.  

11:15 am - During the sacrament, consider how you are truly never going to again snap at Hymnal Sister - shudder - and decide to set sights low at the Telestial Kingdom.

11:16 am - While the Sacrament is being passed, commit the children to visiting you in the Telestial Kingdom someday, and when they make a weird face, demand, somewhat hysterically, "Just promise me, OK?!"

11:30-12:05 pm - Watch the Stake President fall asleep during someone's talk and try to convince 1.0 and 2.0 that he is really sleepy from early meetings and they should not mock him. Inside - hysterically laugh and love that someone else is making a big impression for a change! Pray for him that he will not drool and that he wakes up without a start.

12:07 pm - Be saddened that Heavenly Father wasn't able to actualize your prayer and watch the poor Stake President jump to a start when the organ starts up.  Give 1.0 and 2.0 the evil eye so they will not mock him.  

12:15-1:00 pm - Make a fool of self by trying to participate in Gospel Essentials class.....that is now, apparently, in Spanish.  Construct a note to self to let others know there has been a change, or possibly plan on embarrassing an unsuspecting counselor by asking her to attend in your stead.  Think about that long and hard, and decide sometimes things are only really funny in your head.

1:01 pm - Repent again for Hymnal Sister faux pas and wish she could see how funny that was in your head.  Decide to really REALLY try to like her on top of love her.  Make mental list of her great attributes.

1:02 pm - Stop listing attributes and decide to set up the Relief Society Room.

1:10 pm - Round up sisters from the hall and beg them to come into Relief Society.

1:11 pm - Decide not to take offense at rolled eyes.  Assure yourself that sisters get things stuck in their eyes and need to roll them. Pray that their eyes heal.

1:15 pm - Fight counselor to be the one who gets to do the roll for the absentee Secretary. Counselor just got back from vacation - so you get to do the roll.  It's the least she can do for you seeing as your life is vacationless.

1:16 pm - Lose out to her about getting to look in all the Primary classes for Relief Society sisters.  DRAT

1:16-2:00 pm - Finish Relief Society and just love how great everyone is. Warm fuzzies abound.

2:10 pm - Go to Bishop's office to wait for Ward Council.

2:20 pm - Continue waiting. Realize (and smile, slightly) that everyone loves to talk to the Bishop and be grateful he's such a good guy.

2:30 pm - Sigh loudly and be glad your friend took 1.0 and 2.0 home for you.  

2:45 pm - Repent for the loud sigh and rejoice (for the third time on one Sabbath!) that someone brought homemade cinnamon rolls to the meeting.  Realize you are fickle.  Consider that this is another reason you'll be Telestial Kingdoming it up.

2:46-3:45 pm - Continue repenting.  Make a note to self to not complain next time someone says there will be another 5th Sunday lesson about Missionary work.  

3:45 pm -  Race to counselor's home to grab kids.  Share a cinnamon roll with her. Yumalicious!

4:30 pm - Arrive home - make food - wish Mr. Mormon would have sinned and ordered something so you didn't have to cook.  Repent.  Revisit the idea of sending him to cooking classes.  

4:45 pm - Phone calls begin.  Field calls...

5:45 pm - Wipe sweat from ear from having plastic shoved against it so long. Be glad the problems aren't yours.

7:00 pm - Finally hang up from calls and race over to a distraught sister's home. Her mother is dying and be so glad yours isn't.  Help clean - listen - love her more.

7:55 pm - Make calls on way to 8 pm meeting.  Find out counselors cannot come to the meeting. Find out the sister who hasn't been at church in 6 weeks is possibly going to the Mayo Clinic she's so sick.  

7:57 pm - Decide not to judge those who 1. Didn't home teach Sick Sister, 2. Didn't visit teach Sick Sister, 3.  Said unkind things about why she wasn't at church on Sundays.  Continue listening to her while she explains how bad things are.  Thank Heavenly Father for your health.

8:10 pm - Finally make it into meeting after sitting in driveway for 10 minutes listening to a crying sister - make about 3,000 Visiting Teaching changes seeing as about 8 families have moved in so far this summer.

11 pm - Thank Heavenly Father for all the new families and hope that it will take the load off of folks.  

11:01 pm - Call a distraught sister back to see if she still needs me to come and help her pack.

11:01.5 pm - Be kind of glad she didn't pick up and pray she can get it all done.  

11:20 pm - Finally make it home - talk to Mr. Mormon - craft emails about the state of Sick Sister and Mother Dying Sister until midnight.

12:30 am - Crawl into bed knowing I am getting up at 4:40 am to take Mother Dying Sister's family to the airport.

4:10 am - Get woken up extra early by 2.0 and 3.0.  2.0 lost a tooth and needed an audience.  3.0 insisted she was going to be sick and only cookies would help her.

4:11 am - Smile a little knowing that one day - all of this WILL be over and be grateful for all the people who did this before me FOR me!!!! 

Pink rooms - everywhere you go!

1.0 got her room updated. The theme she chose was "girlie boutique" and let me tell you - while I didn't love the process of painting the furniture...I am sure glad I did! It used to be an ugly stained wood brown and now it is sleek and stylish (click on photos to see them giant-ized - you know you want to know what those shapes are on the bed!) My favorite parts are the chandelier (thank you IKEA!) and the shelves on the wall where she showcases her "accessories."  It's not easy to see in this spread, but there is black and white polka dot (or "polka dotters" as 3.0 likes to refer to them) ribbon everywhere that I am so in love for.

I decided  a theme makes decorating a TON easier, but you have to watch it or you get really silly. At one point, she wanted an old timey cash register to put her jewelry in to complete the look.  Wait - that really is cool now the more that I think about it.  DANG IT!  This kid has better taste than I do!

We framed some Vogue photo spreads on the wall and let me tell you - I love Vogue!  It's been a long time since I perused one, but if you love fashion, it's a dream.  1.0 spent more time squirreled away drooling over the pages than she did helping me paint.

 Now, off to update 2.0's room.  I'm trying to convince her she doesn't want her room to be turrets with dragons popping out of the walls. argh

Rock out with my playlist

Turn up my tunes and jam while you cut some watermelon and fire up the grill.

You know you love Neil Diamond. And synthesizers.

You'd just forgotten.

Thank me later.

Mama and New Mama bond

Last night I went to visit my young friend who is  16 (17 next month) who is having a baby.

I don't know where to begin.  So, I'll start with the front porch.  And the menagerie of plastic animals and garbage in the yard and her biological mother who, along with her boyfriend, live in the shed next to the house but aren't "allowed" to go inside expect to use the restroom. 

She let me in - I had been warned she wouldn't - so I was immediately excited.  She was warm and gracious and was baking her friend a birthday cake.  She is really a darling girl and I told her I've missed her since I got the axe outta Young Women's.  We chit chatted a lot and fell into an easy pattern of just sharing and talking.

But it was hard to not notice the filth.  Dog feces, ants, rooms filled with junk to the ceiling...but New Mama had "cleaned" (a young person's version of cleaning - ya know?)  the living room, family room and kitchen and I could tell her pregnancy enthusiasm was lighting a fire under her to make some changes in her world. 

We talked about school and how all of that will work out and she showed me ultrasound pictures.  We talked about where she'd live and what she plans to do for money (she plans to become a cosmetologist and make $1300 a week and to live with her dad forever because he will be too lonely without her and he loves kids.)  

She believes she and her son can be a success because many of her neighbors were teen mothers who managed to "make it work." She told me she knows she and her son won't be featured on the cover of a Parenting, but she doesn't think that means he can't know he is loved and that she won't be a great mom.  

New Mama said to me, "My mom was never really around, but I always knew my dad loved me. We were unconventional, but we made it work and I know I can make it work with my son, too."  I wish those types of sentences had been placed in her paragraphs in such a way that I could get a word in to say, "Ahh, but there is so much better!  There is a more loving choice..."

There were times I literally did not know what to say. I had prayed for inspiration, but it was hard to get words out through the shock.  

She's very much in a baby honeymoon right now. She's got so many books on pregnancy, she's already met with a lactation consultant (she isn't due until November - phew), she has a stroller and car seat and a diaper service all lined up.  There are little baby clothes and tiny cowboy boots sitting out.  She was absolutely GLOWING about this pregnancy. I think that shocked me. I  didn't expect her to be so over-the-moon thrilled. It was hard not to get caught up in her euphoria.

She thinks it can all work.  She is very convincing and gets you to believe it too - even as you are staring at a pile of laundry that literally goes to the ceiling.  It's hard to love someone so much and be so shockingly appalled at what she thinks will work.  Heaven help us all through this. I don't know how she cannot be confused and disoriented, because I am.

I didn't broach the subject of adoption as my main purpose was trying to get to know her again. I am hopeful I will have the chance.  I did write this to Mrs. R earlier today.  

I am having a greater realization for the magnitude of grace and wisdom and true love that adoption is.  I thought I knew. I didn't, really. I'm sure I still can't comprehend it completely, but placing a child for adoption really is love.  Buying car seats and play pens and knowing your child will sleep where there is feces on the floor and ants in the dog food.....that's not really the highest exemplification of love. 

God bless birth mothers who place their children for adoption.  God bless every last one of them.  

So - there's the re-cap.

Step One - love the mother and reconnect - check.

Step Two - who the heck knows?  More of the same?  Share more about adoption.  Help her learn to be a mom?  Help her clean? Explain how she needs to establish child support through the courts if she keeps this baby like she's planning to. Explain that  there will not really be a crutch through this?  Teach her how to make nutritious meals (I had to walk her through making a cake from a box yesterday.)  Sit back and wait.  Take those things in order.  I dunno...

BFFs

Some of you are blogging and posting pictures of the things that are near and dear to your heart.  A blog shows the world what you love and what is important to you.  And this blog is no different.  This is a place for my family to share with you what is precious to us.  That said, let me take a moment to introduce you to two of my new best friends who are oh-so important to me.  

 

 

This is just a candid shot of my girls. They are so much cuter than this in real life!  You know, the camera adds 10 pounds…

They do everything with me!  These hard-working ladies help me tidy up and listen as I need to get things off of my chest (things like, “Am I the only one in this family who can see the dust bunny and do something about it? Well, apparently I am!”)  Some friends listen, but these girls listen - and they offer support. They get right under that bed with me and root around for the funk and the trash with me, all the while, listening to me gripe about it.    

And best of all - they help me to be better. They find stuff like this

 

and this

 

 

but they don’t just talk about the filth behind my back. They just get in there with me and help get rid of it. They never gossip about my grunge behind my back and they’re real problem solvers - two of my favorite attributes in a person!

So here’s to you, gals!  Seeing as I spend more time with you in a week than I do with half my more-human friends, I thought you deserved a post!  Thanks for keeping us clean!  Forget the wind beneath my wings - you are (sniff) my 12 amps beneath a plastic case…

Yucky things I would rather do...

...instead of accompanying 3.0 on her play date.

1.  Get my teeth cleaned.

2.  Clean my home.

3.  Clean someone else's home (depending on the filth factor.)

4.  Organize a closet.

5.  Organize my food storage.

6.  Clean out the kids' art cabinet.

7.  Babysit.

8.  Take the kids to the beach alone.

9.  Clean my carpets.

10. Clean out my car.

11.  Clean out the fridge.

12.  Call the VT Supervisors and find out why I have no reports, yet this month.

13.  Call all the sisters who are struggling and check in on them.

14.  Ask the missionaries if they visited the folks I asked them to, and see what they had to say.

15.  Steam clean the dining room carpet the dog keeps tinkling on.

16.  Speaking of dogs - get them groomed.

17.  And pooper scoop the back yard.

18.  Weed the flower beds.

19. Paint 1.o's furniture like I promised.

Ohhhh - I could go on and on.

I'm coming to a realization.  I just don't love going on play dates for the kids anymore. I am tired of trying to make 3.0 play with other kids when she really just wants to be left alone. I am tired of racing around a park in the 100 degree heat, when usually, I just take my kids, read my book, and go to a land far, far away in my head. I am tired of encouraging 3.0 to be nice when she really wants to shriek.  I am tired of disciplining my kid in front of someone I don't know well and then having to make explanations about her crazy behavior.  I am tired of keeping a conversation going with someone who is, essentially, a stranger to me,  when I have about 3,000 other things to do and I know my kid does NOT want to be here. I am tired of convincing 1.0 and 2.0 that they could indeed get along at the "little kid park" for a couple of hours and not be so self-absorbed.

I fear I've gotten old.

I love meeting new people.  But I am tired of play dates.  From here on out, I might just say, "Let's go to dinner, OK? Please don't make me make my kid play with yours. PLEASE!" 

With my big girls, I realized early on that play groups were not for me. I didn't like the chaos and inevitable fighting, or the tears, and cajoling kids into sharing.  Now with 3.0, I have come to the realization that play dates aren't a ton different. The whole time we're "playing" I'm thinking of the slide show I want to be working on for my friend, the gal who is 16 and preggers that I am trying to contact, all the phone calls I need to return (including one to the dance teacher - whatever could THAT be about?), how I am going to get 3.0 to talk more.....my ADD totally kicks in and I can't relax and enjoy the play date.  

Park play dates leave me feeling like a referee, a child psychologist, and a sidewalk food vendor all rolled into one.

I really HAVE gotten old, haven't I? I am weak and small-minded and unkind. Sadly, it would appear, in my old age,  I have developed issues, my friends....whodda thunk?  And the worst part of all of this is knowing I will NOT really skip out on kids' play dates because I want them to grow and learn and have to share and have some friends.  

sigh

 

Dear Homeys,

Love, 

Mama

Now, for the longer, more serious, more mama-fied version.

Thanks for the emails and comments and reasonable advice and for worrying about this young mother with me. Thanks for opening up your hearts and sharing your stories and helping me get a clue on how to help this mom and her child.

Thanks also for your patience as I use the wrong words, say the wrong things, and muddle my way through appropriate adoption/teen mother lingo and sentiment. I am trying to learn!

I think when some folks envision the internet, what often comes to mind are inappropriate pictures, Dateline exposes on child predators, and their cousin who is (unsuccessfully) using eHarmony.

It's too bad that we don't often associate goodness with the Net. I have many anonymous and real life pals who come here and have reached out and have offered assistance and guidance for this tricky situation, as well as many others. And I thank you for your time.  I know time is a precious commodity - and I appreciate you giving me, these issues, and these women I serve some of your extra minutes.  In my heart, I want every sister's situation to receive my best educated and enlightened attention.  Y'all sometimes help make that happen!

Life is a little wonky here at the moment, and if I can't comment quickly, please know I am still very appreciative.  I feel like between the Spirit, my family, my insightful and perceptive real-time counselors, and my many e-counselors, I am made better and more fully able to offer assistance to others. Thank you... I hope I can someday pay y'all back - just - ya know - not with cash...because I like to buy stuff...he he he  

So here's to you! 

Please help your friendly RS President

No - that little angel is not growing in me.

One of the Young Women in the ward (aged 16, I believe) is now pregnant and unmarried.  I got the call late last night that she will probably be moving into Relief Society with us now.  I think, provided she will come, that everyone will be wonderful to her. She is a darling girl, really, but has been rather edgy and unkind to the other young people for some time now, and has pretty much quit coming to church for anything but the sacrament. She is still kind and good to the adults - so I think moving up to Relief Society would be a fresh start for her. And we have such a welcoming group, I think she has the potential of fitting in just fine, if she wants to.

I have so many questions on what to do!  I am a big fan of adoption, but I hear she has already made the firm decision to keep the child.  She might marry the father - who is not a member of our church and also in high school (the girl had dropped out of high school some time ago which was shocking as she had been an Honors student and very high achieving, but I believe now will start taking some GED classes.)  Do I ask her about adoption? Do I just listen?  So far on that front, the farthest I've gotten is having her (and maybe the dad) over for dinner and to talk. Or maybe lunch out with her and my Presidency?  Except, ya know, we'd have all OUR kids in tow...

There is so precious little money in that home - it's just absolute poverty.  I know folks will help out with the initial new-baby costs - but what then?  Does she understand how expensive and time consuming and life altering this will be? Is it my job to help her see that or to just support her?  Or is my job to support her, but confirm the scary realities when she finally observes them?  How far do I go? Do I take her to register for baby things when she won't consider adoption or do I just call once a month and ask how she is?  (Her mother is - gosh to not go into too much - just horrible to her and will not support her, I don't believe.  Her father is a total pushover and a good, good man.)

Our graduating seniors just moved into Relief Society and we made a big fat deal over them their first Sunday with us...there were posters, flowers, balloons - we shared things their families wrote about them and just had a great time that day.  Does she slip quietly in the back now? Do I make the same fuss? Do I treat her like a new move in and take a casserole over while I try to get to know her? 

Ohh, I could go on and on with my worries for her and for how I'll support her.  I'll pray for inspiration.  In the mean time, if someone would like to be my inspiration at the moment, I'd be so grateful.  Anyone have some real life experience dealing with this situation that you'd like to share?