early-ish am - Roll outta bed and discover your husband will not be going to church today. Do an (internal) happy dance because this means you have HELP getting kids ready for religion.
9:45 am - Curse that you promised 2.0 you'd curl her hair since Daddy was home and Mama was less-stressed than usual.
10:20 am - Rejoice as you've only had one call (and 3 emails) about church all morning - and leave to go to church.
10:22 - Re-enter the house for all the things you forgot you have to deliver to folks at church. Smooch 3.0 good-bye again and (further) rejoice that you are minus one kid during Sacrament Meeting!
10:50 - Arrive at church. Immediately become surrounded with people wanting stuff/you/an opinion/an ear.
10:59 - Apologize to a sister for saying "No" to her before she even got out her question (you could see that hymnal in her paw and suspected no good could come of it.) Wonder if your menstrual cycle is on its way and know that this sacrament meeting will have greater significance seeing as you are in the midst of the repentance process with Hymnal Sister.
11:15 am - During the sacrament, consider how you are truly never going to again snap at Hymnal Sister - shudder - and decide to set sights low at the Telestial Kingdom.
11:16 am - While the Sacrament is being passed, commit the children to visiting you in the Telestial Kingdom someday, and when they make a weird face, demand, somewhat hysterically, "Just promise me, OK?!"
11:30-12:05 pm - Watch the Stake President fall asleep during someone's talk and try to convince 1.0 and 2.0 that he is really sleepy from early meetings and they should not mock him. Inside - hysterically laugh and love that someone else is making a big impression for a change! Pray for him that he will not drool and that he wakes up without a start.
12:07 pm - Be saddened that Heavenly Father wasn't able to actualize your prayer and watch the poor Stake President jump to a start when the organ starts up. Give 1.0 and 2.0 the evil eye so they will not mock him.
12:15-1:00 pm - Make a fool of self by trying to participate in Gospel Essentials class.....that is now, apparently, in Spanish. Construct a note to self to let others know there has been a change, or possibly plan on embarrassing an unsuspecting counselor by asking her to attend in your stead. Think about that long and hard, and decide sometimes things are only really funny in your head.
1:01 pm - Repent again for Hymnal Sister faux pas and wish she could see how funny that was in your head. Decide to really REALLY try to like her on top of love her. Make mental list of her great attributes.
1:02 pm - Stop listing attributes and decide to set up the Relief Society Room.
1:10 pm - Round up sisters from the hall and beg them to come into Relief Society.
1:11 pm - Decide not to take offense at rolled eyes. Assure yourself that sisters get things stuck in their eyes and need to roll them. Pray that their eyes heal.
1:15 pm - Fight counselor to be the one who gets to do the roll for the absentee Secretary. Counselor just got back from vacation - so you get to do the roll. It's the least she can do for you seeing as your life is vacationless.
1:16 pm - Lose out to her about getting to look in all the Primary classes for Relief Society sisters. DRAT
1:16-2:00 pm - Finish Relief Society and just love how great everyone is. Warm fuzzies abound.
2:10 pm - Go to Bishop's office to wait for Ward Council.
2:20 pm - Continue waiting. Realize (and smile, slightly) that everyone loves to talk to the Bishop and be grateful he's such a good guy.
2:30 pm - Sigh loudly and be glad your friend took 1.0 and 2.0 home for you.
2:45 pm - Repent for the loud sigh and rejoice (for the third time on one Sabbath!) that someone brought homemade cinnamon rolls to the meeting. Realize you are fickle. Consider that this is another reason you'll be Telestial Kingdoming it up.
2:46-3:45 pm - Continue repenting. Make a note to self to not complain next time someone says there will be another 5th Sunday lesson about Missionary work.
3:45 pm - Race to counselor's home to grab kids. Share a cinnamon roll with her. Yumalicious!
4:30 pm - Arrive home - make food - wish Mr. Mormon would have sinned and ordered something so you didn't have to cook. Repent. Revisit the idea of sending him to cooking classes.
4:45 pm - Phone calls begin. Field calls...
5:45 pm - Wipe sweat from ear from having plastic shoved against it so long. Be glad the problems aren't yours.
7:00 pm - Finally hang up from calls and race over to a distraught sister's home. Her mother is dying and be so glad yours isn't. Help clean - listen - love her more.
7:55 pm - Make calls on way to 8 pm meeting. Find out counselors cannot come to the meeting. Find out the sister who hasn't been at church in 6 weeks is possibly going to the Mayo Clinic she's so sick.
7:57 pm - Decide not to judge those who 1. Didn't home teach Sick Sister, 2. Didn't visit teach Sick Sister, 3. Said unkind things about why she wasn't at church on Sundays. Continue listening to her while she explains how bad things are. Thank Heavenly Father for your health.
8:10 pm - Finally make it into meeting after sitting in driveway for 10 minutes listening to a crying sister - make about 3,000 Visiting Teaching changes seeing as about 8 families have moved in so far this summer.
11 pm - Thank Heavenly Father for all the new families and hope that it will take the load off of folks.
11:01 pm - Call a distraught sister back to see if she still needs me to come and help her pack.
11:01.5 pm - Be kind of glad she didn't pick up and pray she can get it all done.
11:20 pm - Finally make it home - talk to Mr. Mormon - craft emails about the state of Sick Sister and Mother Dying Sister until midnight.
12:30 am - Crawl into bed knowing I am getting up at 4:40 am to take Mother Dying Sister's family to the airport.
4:10 am - Get woken up extra early by 2.0 and 3.0. 2.0 lost a tooth and needed an audience. 3.0 insisted she was going to be sick and only cookies would help her.
4:11 am - Smile a little knowing that one day - all of this WILL be over and be grateful for all the people who did this before me FOR me!!!!
6 comments:
And also smile knowing that despite all of the repenting you do throughout your service...you will be Celestial Kingdoming it up because of said service. Of all the blogs I have ever read of anyone, this is one of my most favorites of favorites...so honest, so true, and gosh darn it, it just reminds me how much I like you!
I see lots of wasted minutes here. For instance, 1:11 - 1:15, what spirituality were you imparting during those precious minutes to your spiritually starving sisters?
10:22 - 10:50, it does not take 28 minutes to get to Church, especially the way you drive. Did something else occur on the way to church that needs repenting? Hmmm?
12:07, oh you so did not mention that to me when you came home!
2:10 - 2:30, wasted time that could have been productive, like calling DH to see how badly he was feeling and if he needed anything.
4:10, so where are the cookies? Surely you made some, right?!
Sheesh, you slacker! You could have done sooo much more.
"Sheesh, you slacker! You could have done sooo much more."
Rut Roh 0_0
C-Dawg - why did you have to leave? Thanks for your kind words. I like you too - why'd ya have to leave me?
weep
Drama - you can come sit by me and Cherylyn and bond. There's plenty of space where Mr. Mormon WOULD have been sitting had he not been recently deadened to me.
Uh oh Mr Mormon is DTMama!!
Isn't it hilarious how the guys fall asleep during church? We used to get smacked if we mocked them. LMAO!!
It is funny how they fall asleep! This Stake President is particularly famous for it. In the end, he was kind of spooning the First Counselor. It became rather hysterical. I love when there's extracurricular church entertainment.
(And just in his defense - the Stake President does have meetings starting at 5-something am, so I can understand his need for a Sunday nap!)
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