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Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Winner Winner.....


CHICKEN DINNER!!!!! Our recipient of the...



IS

MARKSMOMM!

WOOT WOOT!

MM - here is my post to you professing my undying love and devotion.

You are a dinky, scary, frozen-tundra loving liberal, but you like half decent music, so you can pass in my world. 

There ya have it! My undying love and devotion has been professed!

In my opinion, your tunes would have been JUST RIGHT for the Valentine's Skate, but the 43-year-old-curly-permed-mullet-wearing-baby-boomer-pretend-hippy-DJ said he couldn't play it because it lacked A. anything by Eminem and B. anything from an animated movie. But know this, I still think it rocked.

CONGRATULATIONS!!! (Go ahead and print that certificate out for yourself, MM, and fill it in.)

Friday, February 13, 2009

Rejected Superbowl Ad

Tell me what you think.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

How much do you like cows?



Do you like them enough to drink their milk?

Do you like them enough to not eat them?

Do you like them enough to visit them at the petting zoo?

Do you like them enough to drink their tinkle?














Why did it suddenly get so quiet?

Some folks in India are proposing slurping on a bovine brew of cow urine as an alternative to cola drinks.

Sacred cow or not, I just can't embrace that one. It's just too mooch, I mean, much.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/food_and_drink/article5707554.ece

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Riddle me this?



Why are we all so dang mad about that California mother getting herself inseminated and having a litter of kids?

Sure - she'll be using the welfare system to help raise them. But tons of other folks use government dollars to raise their children and, already on assistance, get preggers with more youngins. So, why are we so ticked at her?

And yes, her parents have helped her raise the kids. But come on - we all have a friend/ne'er do well cousin/neighbor who is raising/supporting/housing an adult child and their children. Do we get in a tizzy over them?

Is it the size of the girl's family that sets us off? I don't think so - because we all know big, poor, Catholic families that we love. Who doesn't love John and Kate Plus 8? We swoon for the Jolies. We love big Mormon families a little less than big Catholic families and John and Kate...and large families of Pentecostals (the Duggars) even less than that. I've noticed a general American pattern in that we don't mind a hefty, poor family as long as you are mainstream-religious, highly tattooed, or a celebrity. Is that why we don't like this big family - because they don't fall into an acceptable "camp"? If she had a pack of nannies trailing behind her and got her children from overseas, would we be more agreeable about it all?

I listened to a friend today go on and on about how these children would grow up disadvantaged being raised in a home with only a mother and with so many cumulative children vying for her limited resources. She doubted the babies would receive adequate individual attention. Of course, my friend works full-time because she goes nuts being around her own brood all day and she is all for gay marriage and single women being inseminated because she says it's a woman's right to choose if she wants to have children and how they will be raised. So, is it fair for her to not give this CA mother the same regard? Isn't it her body and her family to raise as she sees fit - just the same as Tom and Frank down the street?

It might sound, from my post, like I think it's just dandy to have 14 kids under the age of 8 with no real, substantive education, no father in the home, and no earned wage coming in. But the truth is, I don't. I just can't quite put my finger on exactly why it is so wrong to me. The entire situation smacks of abuse somehow, but when I dissect it, I find myself saying, "Yeah - it's wrong for her to have 14 kids, but it's noble when others adopt that many." I make myself sick saying, "If she had more means, I'd be fine with this" as so many people wouldn't exist on the planet if their parents had waited to have enough money to raise them before they conceived. Money is not equal to love. I can't quite figure out why it angers me - and most of the American public - to the degree that it does, but boy, the story sure does rile us all up.

Maybe it's because I take motherhood so seriously and I don't know that she does - and I sanctimoniously sit in judgement of her? Maybe I'm a bit jealous - I always wanted a big family and it turns out, I have a little one. I would love to sneak a couple of those babies into my home. Is that why my ire gets up over this? Or is it that I feel my good nature and desire for all to have the help they need to raise their family being abused as I see a deliberate abuse of the welfare system? I'm definitely incensed that there is not a regulation about how many embryos can be implanted in a womb, but we regulate how many CCs of saline can be pumped into a woman's chest. Did you know you have to leave the country if you want really huge ta-tas? But you can have, quite literally, a litter of babies put in your gut no questions asked. And speaking of plastic surgery - I am lead to think....maybe I'm just ticked that CA mother has had so much cosmetic surgery and I am easily more deserving. Has anyone else noticed her face has had substantial work?

I suspect it's a culmination of all of those thoughts of mine that have me ticked off that this is allowed to happen. I wish I could go scoop up all the octuplets and place them for adoption to mothers and fathers desperate to have just one child to adore.

While I can't put my finger on exactly what has me so riled up, I do know this - there are 14 children who need a lot of love and attention in California and I hope they will be blessed...in spite of their mother's choices. Heaven help them all...

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

When the dog poops in your pocketbook..

...it's time to call it a day.



At least, that is what I've always thought. But - live and learn! - you can begin your morning with a dog relieving itself in your handbag (and you being unable to clean it out and having to carry bits of said poop around with you for the next 12 hours as life was too busy to head home/to a store for a new purse) and have it end up being a lovely day!

Note to self: Don't call the day a goner over some misplaced feces. Maybe just write off that hour, instead.

I took the dogs to the vet yesterday morning before heading in to set up for Enrichment Night. And wouldn't ya know our little dog got nervous and shared those nerves with me in my purse while I was driving. Of course, I didn't realize what had happened until I was back in the car, having delivered the pooches to the vet, and now running late, was unable to pull over.

Note to self: Thank Mr. Mormon for getting me a sunroof in the car. It really helped air the car out while I drove around. I was freezing with the windows down and might have permanently damaged my nostrils from being stuck in the car with that smell for a long period of time. An open sunroof was the perfect middle ground.

The day had other wonkiness to it, as well. But really, that little event was the proverbial wonky icing on the wonky cake that is my life. What else could I tell you that was bizarre about yesterday that is going to grab your attention like dog doo? The rest will pale in comparison, so I'll keep it to myself.

Blissfully, the day ended with lots of friends and learning and enjoying myself thoroughly. It was wonderful! Whodda thunk?

Note to self: When the animals die, remain pet-free for the preservation of my remaining sanity.