Between Mr. Mormon and myself, we're rather in the thick of dealing with crud.
His family has the unsavory task of dealing with his recently deceased and longtime estranged father's "stuff." He's found two suitcases full of papers to go through and there's still much more to find. But he needs a hazmat team to help him finish.
No, seriously. Hazmat.
I'm trying like mad to get 3.0 squared away and get some speech services provided to her through our insurance, which is a logistics nightmare at best. Call the therapist - call the doctor - call the teacher - call the doctor back - call the therapist back - call the billing department back - call the insurance - call the insurance - call the insurance - email the therapist and the billing department.....
We have a PPO, but we still have to use in-network providers or else. (Sort of makes you wonder why it's a PPO?) But there are no in-network speech providers in my area. Or within the next 75 miles. And - gosh - there are NO approved speech therapists in all of Florida for my baby.
Seriously.
What do YOU think the chances are that they are going to cover my kid's speech?
Yeah - that's about what I thought. At least I didn't have to traipse through bodily fluids to get my task completed. Mr. Mormon wins there. Fear Factor family issues trump my multi-media insurance capers.
On top of all of that, my car needs an oil change, I need to make a total of six doctors' appointments for the kids and I, I continue to be coughing up a lung, and my Scooba is still dead so I'm having to keep it old school in mopping. (Old school meaning I use the carpet cleaner's hard floor attachment - I'm not REALLY mop-mopping. Puh-lease. I don't even own one anymore.)
I wish I could hire someone to sort this all out for us.
Seriously - I want to hire someone. So - are any of you willing? I'll pay you what I make an hour to handle this for us. Any takers?
Thanks in advance! You're so nice. Seriously! Call me when you're done - I'm going to the beach.
6 comments:
First - let me say how sorry I am that you are in all this crud. What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger?????
You are correct in assuming you probably won't get speech services covered -- I've been down that road. Thankfully, most school districts provide that service but if you want private services....be prepared to sell your body for it. I'm thinking you could get at least 100 bucks a week with your legs. Show some cleavage and maybe 50 more.
As for you coughing up a lung....what the monkey is that?? A cold or allergies?? Or...are you closet smoking again???
As for Mr. Mormon's crud.....I think his character speaks for the nurture vs nature argument. 0_0
Clearly, some traits are not passed along genetically ( except if you're from Jag's family ).
You're a true pal.
But where's your volunteering to do this crap for me? I assign you getting the Scooba taken care of. You go to the post office more than I do. Pick it up on your way, please. :)
If I lived by ya...I'd volunteer to light a match to that place your former in law called home.
You are SO service-oriented, MM. You're like Mother Theresa meets Ghandi.
I know. It's not easy being this selfless. Some of us are "Stella's"...some of us are Florence Nightingales.
And some of us were just sick with parasympathetic despair, after reading all of this, so took herself off to Bone Fish Grill, to drown her sorrows in Corn Chowder with Lump Crab. I'm feeling better now and am ready to go in and do battle. Give me a few phone numbers and I will hit the phones for ya, Mama!
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