In case you thought I was getting a big head...

Apparently, my children thought, in spite of my hearty protests, that I would win that little race I was in.

Yeah.  Right-o, kids.  Like I can zip through 3 miles in 17 minutes like the winner did. Uh huh.

As I came running up to the end, I saw my little family waving at me and cheering.  I was so happy to see them!  And I stepped to the side to give them high-5s before crossing the finish line (thereby adding an easy 24 minutes to my run. Otherwise, I WOULD have won, ya know.)

As I was high-5ing my curly-sue 3.0 she said, "Mama - you are NOT a winner!  You are NOT A WINNER!"

Thanks, kid.  I limped on over to the finish line and called it a day.

Apparently, the folks who finished ahead of me were winners. To her, I was the big loser.

She kept telling me over and over - for most of the way back to the car - that I was not a winner.  That combined with the 1.0 and 2.o explaining to me how much less sweaty the other folks were than me really keeps a gal humble, ya know.

I do believe my children will cross stitch this into a sampler for me someday.

Ruh-roh

Rah rah Ree

I hope a pound came off of me!

Rah rah RAAH

Instead I'm saying waaaaaaaaaah!

I've eaten salads for lunch most days.  I've exercised every day but one.  I chose healthier snacks - or none at all. I've consumed enough water to flood a New Orleans levy.  I did have some peanut butter one night after 7 pm. Sue me.

So far,  I have felt hungry more often than not. And I've successfully gained 2.5 pounds.

Even I have to laugh.  And don't start the whole, "I'm sure it's muscle" stuff - we both know that's a lie. I didn't gain 2.5 pounds of muscle in a couple of days.  Thanks for trying, though! The entire thing makes me snicker at myself.

Clearly, I will have to listen to my theme song more frequently as I'm not giving up, yet!

Oh-oh-oooooh muffin top...

you'll always be

o'er the top of my jeans!

Bad old muffin top.

Muffin top Mormonyyyyyyyyyy

Mama's miracle!

I do not desire to be graphic. But I experienced a miracle today and I need to share it with the world.

Move over Jackie Oh - you're not the only one having some miracles.

Picture it.

the Mormon master bathroom

It's the morning.  Dawn's early light is peeking through my tasteful wood blinds with goldenrod curtains.

I, Mama, hop on my slim, white WeightWatchers  scale to see if I have miraculously lost 20 lbs over night.  (A girl can dream.)

sigh - no such luck

Now - picture a disheartened Mama shuffling to the potty.  

At this point, you might want to halt the visualization.

After a most discreet and genteel tinkle, I re-weighed myself before popping into the shower. And WHATTHEMONKEY? I'd lost a pound.

A pound of tinkle? Clearly, this was a Mormon miracle.  I have to share it with the wooooooorld.

Sing it with me!

Oh-oh-oooooooh
Muffin top!

You'll always be - over the band of my jeaaaaaaaans!

Bad old muffin top...

Muffin top Mormon-yyyyyyy

Muffin top Mormon-yyyyyyy-yyyyyy

I can't stand it anymore. I'm losing all the weight I've gained with this calling.  Starting NOW.

Well, actually, starting yesterday, if we're going to be technical about it.

After I cleaned all that dust out of the exercise room, you'd've thought I would have stuck with working out. You'd've been right, too!  But 1.0 kicked me with her boot (oh yes she did!  Anger management classes are clearly in the child's future) and knocked my perfect pedicured tootsie's nail off.

Ergo, no sneakers for this Mormon.

But I tried working out again yesterday and it went well.  I'm fighting shin splints fierce, but while that's a pain, I always perk myself up when I realize I have shin splints because I have seriously great calf muscles that are stronger (and more attractive) than my front-of-the-leg-muscles (whatever those wimps are called.)  I worked on them for a long time (the whats-er-name muscles) and hope to show them who is the boss within a few days.  

I got to my lowest weight of adulthood after I had 3.0 and I'm headed there again, homeys.  I have been so stressed out about everyone in the ward's life dramas, I find myself eating and eating and eating while I worry.  And I was having trouble finding time to work out - it seemed everyone needed a piece of my day.

But things are calming down and I've found an hour a day I can get working out done.

I know I'll never be thin - I love food too much. But I want to feel better.

I'm also back on my strict "No food after 7 pm" rule.  That was a great help last go round, but it's so dang hard.  But it helps keep food out of my choppers for at least 12 hours a day. Most folks' dramas seem to happen at night and they want to talk to their handy dandy Relief Society President, but I'm just going to stay awaaaaay from the Sara Lee during those hours.  

I decided to treat myself to a pedicure for every 2 weeks that I stick with my daily working out. That way I'll have great toes AND a less-jiggly bum.  I gave myself an advance pedi today as incentive. A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. 

My goal is to run a 5K within a year from now. I totally have the endurance - it's the flocking shins (those great calves of mine are such a curse!)  I am hoping by announcing my goal here, I will, well, STICK TO IT!  :)  A ton of gals in my ward keep doing triathlons and while I wish I could muster the enthusiasm to join them, I just can't.  I am just not interested in doing that, but I would like to really challenge and stretch myself somehow more physically.  We'll see!

Bye bye Muffin Top

And not from buying fatter jeans...

Not from buying fatter jeaaaaaaaaaa-aaaaaaaaaaa-aaaaaaaaaaaaaans!