...instead of accompanying 3.0 on her play date.
1. Get my teeth cleaned.
2. Clean my home.
3. Clean someone else's home (depending on the filth factor.)
4. Organize a closet.
5. Organize my food storage.
6. Clean out the kids' art cabinet.
7. Babysit.
8. Take the kids to the beach alone.
9. Clean my carpets.
10. Clean out my car.
11. Clean out the fridge.
12. Call the VT Supervisors and find out why I have no reports, yet this month.
13. Call all the sisters who are struggling and check in on them.
14. Ask the missionaries if they visited the folks I asked them to, and see what they had to say.
15. Steam clean the dining room carpet the dog keeps tinkling on.
16. Speaking of dogs - get them groomed.
17. And pooper scoop the back yard.
18. Weed the flower beds.
19. Paint 1.o's furniture like I promised.
Ohhhh - I could go on and on.
I'm coming to a realization. I just don't love going on play dates for the kids anymore. I am tired of trying to make 3.0 play with other kids when she really just wants to be left alone. I am tired of racing around a park in the 100 degree heat, when usually, I just take my kids, read my book, and go to a land far, far away in my head. I am tired of encouraging 3.0 to be nice when she really wants to shriek. I am tired of disciplining my kid in front of someone I don't know well and then having to make explanations about her crazy behavior. I am tired of keeping a conversation going with someone who is, essentially, a stranger to me, when I have about 3,000 other things to do and I know my kid does NOT want to be here. I am tired of convincing 1.0 and 2.0 that they could indeed get along at the "little kid park" for a couple of hours and not be so self-absorbed.
I fear I've gotten old.
I love meeting new people. But I am tired of play dates. From here on out, I might just say, "Let's go to dinner, OK? Please don't make me make my kid play with yours. PLEASE!"
With my big girls, I realized early on that play groups were not for me. I didn't like the chaos and inevitable fighting, or the tears, and cajoling kids into sharing. Now with 3.0, I have come to the realization that play dates aren't a ton different. The whole time we're "playing" I'm thinking of the slide show I want to be working on for my friend, the gal who is 16 and preggers that I am trying to contact, all the phone calls I need to return (including one to the dance teacher - whatever could THAT be about?), how I am going to get 3.0 to talk more.....my ADD totally kicks in and I can't relax and enjoy the play date.
Park play dates leave me feeling like a referee, a child psychologist, and a sidewalk food vendor all rolled into one.
I really HAVE gotten old, haven't I? I am weak and small-minded and unkind. Sadly, it would appear, in my old age, I have developed issues, my friends....whodda thunk? And the worst part of all of this is knowing I will NOT really skip out on kids' play dates because I want them to grow and learn and have to share and have some friends.
sigh
10 comments:
I don't think you've gotten old but I do think your role as parent is changing.
I also think that 3 will be fine with or without official play dates. She is getting socialization by being in dance class and by having 2 older sisters. She also began a preschool program this past year....huge steps for that angel.
Thanks.
Now, tell the folks who invite us over, ever so nicely, that we don't need them in our lives.
:)
Boundaries are dang hard to set. It's always ok to say " we're having a stay at home day today "......
Or...we've become Pentecostal...
Pentecostal sounds good...
Better yet!! I could give play date moms some Watchtower magazines - that'll scare 'em off for sure!!! ooohh - ooohh - I could bring LDS missionaries with me on play dates - I'd never get invited back! So many ideas now - THANKS!
Ahhhhhhhhh, hehehehehe, you've hit the Nancy Reagan years. It does hit most of us, you know, even if you thought it wouldn't. No excuses, just say, "No . . . thank you." #3 is a doll and will be just fine. MM's right: she gets a lot of socialization in other ways and if these aren't fun for you or her . . . what's the point?
signed,
The Queen Of Anti-Social :-)
If it helps y'all think any better of me...I did blow the date off twice before.
But I'm weaaaaaaaaaaaaak.
My other friend said I should start drooling when folks ask me to do something. Or talk to walls and stuff. She said that'd scare 'em off for good. :)
Try this one - "Sure we'll come over - I should tell you though that #3 is on her second treatment for head lice but we THINK we got it this time "
Head lice....good call there. That's a sure fire way of culling the herd, so to speak.
My advice is much more mundane than that however. Don't answer the phone if they call, and for heaven's sake, don't call them (I learned that from Jackie-O)!! Heck, you have three kids. If an only child like myself, (okay, I have a sister, but she's 10 years older, so it's like being alone), can find something to amuse myself with (don't go there), then certainly your three can also. I grew up in the Pleistocene era. They barely had electricity back then!! Your kids have computers and all the nifty gadgets one could possibly want. Outside is WAY overrated!! Running indoors is just as good for them as running outdoors. Just lock yourself in your bedroom during the day and make 'the heathen' clean the house when he gets home. Problem solved. That'll be $25 please. I'm cheaper than Dr. Phil, for sure!
Do you have more hair than Dr. Phil?
Yes I do! Okay, not much more, but more for sure, and I treat it much better too!
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