Anyone else tired of being a Prop 8 Punch Bag Bob?

I'm so tired of taking one for the team about Prop 8. If one more person tells me how they like me, but hate my church, I might smack 'em. It wouldn't be OK to say, "I like you, but your outfit and hair - maaaaaaan - those are atrocious!" We wouldn't think of saying that would we?  That's because our mamas raised us better! But when it comes to religion, folks feel free to say what they want.

Guess what?  It's not cool anymore. Anthrax-hoaxes at temples?  Lame.

I found the following on someone's blog and wanted to share it. It's my sentiment right now. Everyone can blame Mormons for the vote, but it wasn't an exclusively LDS mandate.

1. Mormons make up less than 2% of the population of California. There are approximately 800,000 LDS out of a total population of approximately 34 million.

2. Mormon voters were less than 5% of the yes vote. If one estimates that 250,000 LDS are registered voters (the rest being children), then LDS voters made up 4.6% of the Yes vote and 2.4% of the total Proposition 8 vote.

3. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons) donated no money to the Yes on 8 campaign. Individual members of the Church were encouraged to support the Yes on 8 efforts and, exercising their constitutional right to free speech, donated whatever they felt like donating.

4. The No on 8 campaign raised more money than the Yes on 8 campaign. Unofficial estimates put No on 8 at $38 million and Yes on 8 at $32 million, making it the most expensive non-presidential election in the country.

5. Advertising messages for the Yes on 8 campaign are based on case law and real-life situations. The No on 8 supporters have insisted that the Yes on 8 messaging is based on lies. Every Yes on 8 claim is supported.

6. The majority of our friends and neighbors voted Yes on 8. Los Angeles County voted in favor of Yes on 8. Ventura County voted in favor of Yes on 8.

7. African Americans overwhelmingly supported Yes on 8. Exit polls show that 70% of Black voters chose Yes on 8. This was interesting because the majority of these voters voted for President-elect Obama. No on 8 supporters had assumed that Obama voters would vote No on 8

8. The majority of Latino voters voted Yes on 8. Exit polls show that the majority of Latinos supported Yes on 8 and cited religious beliefs (assumed to be primarily Catholic).

9. The Yes on 8 coalition was a broad spectrum of religious organizations. Catholics, Evangelicals, Protestants, Orthodox Jews, Muslims – all supported Yes on 8. It is estimated that there are 10 million Catholics and 10 million Protestants in California. Mormons were a tiny fraction of the population represented by Yes on 8 coalition members.

10. Not all Mormons voted in favor of Proposition 8. Our faith accords that each person be allowed to choose for him or her self. Church leaders have asked members to treat other members with "civility, respect and love," despite their differing views.

11. The Church did not violate the principle of separation of church and state. This principle is derived from the First Amendment to the United States Constitution, which reads, "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof . . ." The phrase "separation of church and state", which does not appear in the Constitution itself, is generally traced to an 1802 letter by Thomas Jefferson, although it has since been quoted in several opinions handed down by the United States Supreme Court in recent years. The LDS Church is under no obligation to refrain from participating in the political process, to the extent permitted by law. U.S. election law is very clear that Churches may not endorse candidates, but may support issues. The Church has always been very careful on this matter and occasionally (not often) chooses to support causes that it feels to be of a moral nature.

12. Supporters of Proposition 8 did exactly what the Constitution provides for all citizens: they exercised their First Amendment rights to speak out on an issue that concerned them, make contributions to a cause that they support, and then vote in the regular electoral process. For the most part, this seems to have been done in an open, fair, and civil way. Opponents of 8 have accused supporters of being bigots, liars, and worse. The fact is, we simply did what Americans do – we spoke up, we campaigned, and we voted.

(If anyone would like to fact check all that - feel free. I started, but I'm getting tired now.  Any takers?)

I guess the biggest point I'd like to make is.....more folks in CA wanted it to pass than didn't want it to pass. Punct.  Similar amendments came up in other states and they also passed.  I wish no one to be hurt by legislation - but folks, it wasn't just Mormons who weren't interested in gay marriages being recognized. I'm sorry about that.  I cannot imagine the pain it must cause.

But guess what - just because I'm LDS and have a tender heart - that doesn't mean I want to read 

1. untruths about what happened

2. the unkind comments about Mormons that are now deemed acceptable.

3.  that I am close-minded, ignorant, uneducated, backwards, misguided, etc. because I continue to love my religion.

4.  that I probably live in a bubble and know no gay people, therefore, I shouldn't get to vote.

5.  that Mormons are uneducated, and that's the whole problem.

Or, ya know, anything of the like.

I feel if proponents of gay marriage have a problem with the LDS church, they should do what Pubs did to the Dixie Chicks a few years ago.....don't join in. Don't buy our albums or go to Deseret Industries and for pity's sake - don't send your kid to a LDS college. Never accept help from Mormons when they clean up after your hurricane and stay away from the Hallmark Chanel on Sunday mornings when they run Music and the Spoken Word. But maybe it's time to leave your LDS friends and neighbors  alone and use your energies to overturn Prop 8 or keep it from happening somewhere else if it is that important to you. Put your money and time where your mouth is....you know, like those pesky Mormons.

Thanks for hearing me out.

This week in RATE THAT SIN!

Sure - we recognize the above list as sins.  But periodically, I like to request that you, my gentle homeys, help me rate some of the less easily categorized transgressions.  Ponder with me, once again, to determine if this is a sin? And if so, is it

Totally Telestial

Somewhat Satanic

or should I be

Auf-ed to Outer Darkness?

So - riddle me this? Is it a sin to have a potty word in your favorite exercise song if you really REALLY run faster to that song and you somewhat consider that, well, a spiritual experience? Does anything change *if* you find yourself, when in extreme shin pain, turning your iPod up louder to better hear the angry potty words and then, uhh, smiling?

Mama's handy tip of the day

If you purchase a new brasierre to better support you during workouts....

And if, saaaaaaay, the undergarment is not offering the anticipated benefits and, in fact, rather hurts when you move more than one inch in any direction...

Then....it is a worthwhile endeavor to check and see if said undergarment is on, uhhhh, inside out. Because you might have just really hurt yourself for nothing.

Additionally, I'd advise one to check on the inside-out-status of the support item before spending, let's see, most of the entire day flinching in pain at movements even as small as a yawn or, well, the raise of an eyebrow.  Really - just check it out.  

I'm just saying. You'll thank me later for that handy tip, homeys.

Excuse me! I think I've got a heartache

Ohh - the hits just keep on coming, homeys!

First, Mr. Mormon has kidney stones over Halloween. (Fun!)  Theeeeen - the family gets the stomach flu.  (Colonics are popular - how about some old school diarrhea? Is that chic?) Next lackluster moment - McCain loses (and explaining abortion to your nine and seven year olds isn't all it's cracked up to be - just so's ya know) and nooooooooooooow Mr. Mormon discovers he is only guaranteed work until 31 December of this year.

No - I'm not kidding.

2.0 suggested that Mr. Mormon leave his current career and become a famous SCUBA diver. I'm somewhat interested in that career path. I feel the world needs another Jacques Cousteau - and why couldn't it be Mr. Mormon?   Sure - there are his constant skin cancer scares and motion sickness setbacks, but he's all about making a comeback.  2.0 also volunteered to work on cruise ships to support us and 1.0 told me I might as well get a job seeing as the children are pretty much grown up already.  

In other news - I'm training to run a 5K and haven't kerplopped over dead, yet. Optimistically, I trudge to the gym each morning and  start to feel all good about my running. That is - I feel self-assured until some cute young thaaaang jumps on the treadmill next to me, cranks it up to 6.5, and blasts past me.  (Well, not REALLY past me, as you know, then she'd have to run through the plate glass window as we are on a treadmill and all - but work with me.  I'm missing McCain.)  I silently wish Miss Thaaaaang dead with the power of my mind and tell myself she might be hot, young, and a fast runner, but does she know how to clean a fishbowl in under 5 minutes before visitors come over?  Probably not! SO THERE SKINNY HOT CHICK!

Some perkier developments (no - I didn't get the breast augmentation -sheesh!)... Both my big girls got straight As this 9-weeks and 2.0 is back at gymnastics post broken arm.  WOOHOO!  Additionally, 3.0 is apparently, the Duck Whisperer. It was pre-K day at the farm on Monday, and my baby was the ONLY kid to catch a duck and snuggle it in the petting zoo. She would sneak up behind them and grab 'em and we'd all laugh! Of course, with our luck, she will probably come down with Bird Flu. But then we can sue and pay the bills. Oh yes! Our bad luck may finally - literally! - pay off!

Body fluids are your friends

Usually, getting a new Bishop is fun and exciting. Unless, of course, you are the auxiliary President who most closely associates with the Bishop and you are afraid for who will be called. Our Bishop was called to the Stake Presidency and that is lovely for him and for all of us, I suppose.

But now, I'll get a greenie. Or even worse - I'll get someone who's done it before and is set in his ways and crotchety.

I heard once in an Escape class that if victims want to get away from the perp quickly, two of the most effective things they can do is to urinate on themselves or vomit. 

I already have a plan of action for my first ward council meeting.

Do I hear a double dog dare?

I might use the old puke and pee on some other folks, as well.

I think I can say I love all the women in my ward. I can't think of any I don't love, at least.

There are a few I'd like to spank, though.  :)  I have a sister I've done about 4 food orders for and she's never filled any of them.  But then she comes back weeks later asking for another.

Then there's the sister whose ideal food order for 2 people for 2 weeks included 34 pounds of meat, 24 desserts, and ohhh, about 20 pounds of flour.  She didn't love me when I told her we needed to menu plan and that this order needed an adjustment.

I was recently stormed out on and had a door slammed at me for telling someone she needed to ask the Bishop for a food order, like everyone else.  There was an interesting conversation that I had lately wherein it was determined I should personally pay for folks to drive others to the storehouse since it wouldn't be right for me to ask someone to serve another for nothing and it also wouldn't be right to ask the church to reimburse people for their gas. And finding out that sisters didn't attend RS Temple Night (they said they couldn't because they had a major athletic event the next day) and I discovered later that they went to see High School Musical 3 instead was yet another un-uplifting moment of this Presidency.

But there is plenty of good.  (Think of the good, Mama.....concentrate...concentrate....) In fact, 99% of this job is just lovely and I enjoy serving folks and being a sounding board. I am honored that women let me in their lives and share their most private issues with me so we can problem solve and help them get ahead.

I got not one but TWO lovely emails last week telling me what a great President I am. How nice is THAT? I was amazed anyone would take the time out for that and am honored anyone would think I don't suck.  Overall, there is a lot of joy and happiness to be had in this calling. 

But that's not to say I wouldn't mind puking and more-purposefully-tinkling to get out of a couple of jobs sometimes.  I'm just saying....

Back in the saddle again!

Hola homeys!

I don't know how many of you are left - weep.

I had to make my blog disappear-y for a while seeing as my darling ward was on a hunt to find it. Now mind you, they have the family blog link, so you'd think they'd let me off the hook - but nooooo. Their search effort combined with my lack of computer (I dropped it one too many times - oopsies) caused me to shut down for a bit.

But now I'm re-grouped and ready for bear. Bare?  I never can remember.

Anyone still care to play along?

The Axe

Blessed day of peace and rest. Mr. Mormon got the axe from the Bishopric! 

HAAAAAAALLELUJAH!

HAAAAAAALLELUJAH!

Now, I am top banana in this monkey palace. :)

Lots of folks had such nice things to say to Mr. Mormon on Sunday and he was thanked for his service. The Primary President broke down crying several times when he was telling her how nice it was to have served with her. I think they've been through so many trials together, and it was an emotional time for her to think she has someone new to break in.

Now, he's back off to the clerk's quorum, where he is happy, un-stressed, and not in charge of Cub Scouts, Deacons, Primary, the library, Activities Committee, 11-Year-Old Scouts...oh he is doing the happy dance of joy!

Having a member of the Bishopric married to the Relief Society President was insane.  But it did have some perks that I will miss.  Sitting next to him in meetings was nice...but sitting next to him in sacrament will be nicer.  We still won't drive together to church, so we're continuing our 9 year separation that way - but he will no longer be at church on Sundays for 8 hours and on Wednesday nights and most Saturdays.....AT ALL!  He has a tricked out-retro styling office to hide from Sunday School in and I have a less-stressed, happy hubby.  Life is good!!