Good Book/Bad Book

This week, in Good Book/Bad Book, we'll explore 2 books  - neither being a non-fictional novel nor an epistle.  

Good Book

These Is My Words: The Diary of Sarah Agnes Prine - by Nancy Turner

Looooooved it!

I didn't want to read this book and certainly didn't think that I would love it. It was my book group's monthly selection.  It took a good 20 pages or so before I was hooked (which isn't long, I know), but then, I had to know more. The principal character is delightfully strong-willed, trying to be humble and patiently endure the messes of life.  I found myself reading this book while driving - my consummate endorsement ("It's so great - you'll read it while driving!")

I will definitely read it again in life - it's inspiring to me and a good mix of a love, girl power, frontier-y-ness, wit, sadness, and humor.  It explores marriage and men, life in the territories,how to be a good sister-in-law,  self-education, and grace in the face of trials.  It's a fun, quick read that leaves you a bit better than it found you.  And it's an excellent book club read - loads to talk about.  

I give it 4.5 miniMormons.

Bad Book

Celebrity Detox - Rosie O'Donnell

ohmystars it was bad.  Hard to read and the worst part, it really illustrates just how (sadly) crazy she is.  It's draining reading someone being defensive for an entire book.  Basically, she takes every hurt she experienced on The View and compiles them into a book wherein she carefully illustrates how forgiving, self-deprecating,  and good she is. I don't have a great deal of patience for self-aggrandizement, so it rather drove me insane.  I did love her Kabballah instructor, though - who would set her straight.  Sadly, she didn't get a lot of print time.  

The editorial conflicts made me nuts, as well.  In one year Blake is 5 (when he needs to be portrayed as pitiful) and then he's suddenly 7 later that same year.  Rosie admits in the book to being contradicted on her version of the truth about events from very reliable sources (her brother and Kelli.)  Still she defends her revisionist history.  To me, this made her an even less credible source to me than she was.  Making something bigger for storytelling's sake or to get more attention doesn't fly with me - it makes me think I can't trust you about details.  I noticed she did that on The View and it didn't set well with me then, either.

It read quickly and it's not a horrific way to spend a couple of hours, but what it revealed about the author was a little weird and it wasn't well-written, in my opinion.  Too choppy, disjointed, and largely not about how celebrities detox from the fame game, which I believed it would be about, given the title.

I give it 2 miniMormons (which equals 1.5 Trump combovers.)

Stay tuned for the next Good Book/Bad Book where we will discuss The Good Omen.  In the meantime, feel free to share your latest Good Book/Bad Book experience!

Pause my player and listen...

Ever felt like a lump of coal?

Me, neither. But apparently, lesser persons get down in the dumps.

he he he

OK, I'll tell the truth. I don't like being in charge all of the time and I don't usually feel like a capable leader.  More often than not, I feel that I am not worth listening to and that folks should just shove on by and not pay me any mind.  

I've been thinking quite a bit lately about how inadequate I feel in comparison to the tasks before me. I feel like a frumpy dumpy housewife who has a giant task ahead of her to help folks feel inspired and become their best selves.  Uhhhh, are you sure you're asking the right girl for help?  Inspiring others?  Leading?  Saying something fresh and different?

Don't make me laugh!

Just last week I was moaning to Mr. Mormon that I feel so uninspiring and that I can't make a difference. He told me I underestimate myself and that I have more of an affect than I know. Of course, he also wanted me to shut up.  :)  But the next night, I saw this video and was reminded that yes -  I might be Plain Jane on the outside, but maybe even a Plain Jane regular old mom could help others find the good in themselves and want to expand that.  Especially if that regular old mom isn't all on her own in this endeavor, if ya know what I mean.

We'll see!

So thanks, Paul, for some inspiration.

So nobody...

...thinks it's a riot that this blog has a monkey on it?  Come on folks - throw me a bone!  What the monkey has a monkey on it! Pretty good for a baby blogger, right?  Jammin' tunes, a monkey, and the presence of a member of the FOB community - in fact - the head Fobrarian himself -  all that and wit for free.  I'm trying here, peeps.

Also, even if no one here loved The Golden V - it was a hit and a half at my meeting.  I love you all anyway - even if you are a smidge cremated to me.

SHUT UUUUUP!

"If the election is McCain vs. Hillary, I'll vote for Hillary."

-Mr. Mormon

-2008

Oh yes he did too say it!!!

Shock and awe, my friends. Shock and awe.

The best thing about Pres. Hinckley's death...

...is that he's back with Sis. Hinckley.

He's spoken so much about her since she passed away and you could tell he missed his best friend. While I'm sad to lose the man who has been the prophet through most of my life's major milestones, I'm glad that he is reunited with his darling, DARLING wife.

I'm also glad he's been released from his calling here.  Can you imagine having the same, weighty calling for so many years?  I've been a President for most of the past 4 years, and I'm wiped out from it. I never want to be in charge of anything again. But what an example he is to me of patience in your leadership. Always a smile and a joke from him!  

I feel like Pres. Hinckley has been my prophet since he's been through a lot with me.  He might not be personally aware of my life's goings on (although I'm sure right now he could look them up if he cared to), he's been the face of the LDS church as I went through different trials.  He was the prophet when I decided to not go on a mission and to not marry in the temple, much to the chagrin of many, I remember.   He was the prophet when Mr. Mormon and I had early marriage financial craziness and legal trials.  He was the prophet for each of our children's births and through various stays in the hospital and medical messes.  

I'm not saying life has been made easier because he specifically has been my prophet - but certainly, there was an example for me to look to, when I desired to.  His was always an example of happiness and candor.  You never saw Pres. Hinckley looking glum or speaking miserably of what was required of him. Instead, he radiated a simple peace that attracted so many to him and to the gospel.  You never heard someone who met Pres. Hinckley and didn't like him - Presidents, political leaders, religious leaders, moms, dads, kids and LDS leaders - everyone had a kind word about Pres. Hinckley.   

While Pres. Hinckley was alive, I'm not sure I looked to his example often enough. But just reflecting on his life - his love of the sisters - his charm and wit and humor - his service without complaint - his attitude that all would be okay in the face of turmoil - his innovation  - his use of technology to the best interest of the church - the way he ended everything telling us how much he loved us and prayed for us.....I'm hoping to focus on more of that and apply it to my own life. What a great man who will be sorely missed by many of us.

Well done thou good and faithful servant....

What says Relief Society like The Golden V?

Mr. Mormon has nearly redeemed himself to me.  He called me a new VT Coordinator and......

I AM SO IN LOVE FOR HER!

She rocks!  She has tons of ideas, she's high energy, and I think this will be perfect for our ward.

The whole team is excited about working with her. She is ready to come to Presidency meetings and said she'll get the job done and for us to not stress about overwhelming her. What a breath of fresh air!  She's very passionate about this and I think we will have a blast together.

I was telling her how much fun the sisters have been having with my "giveaways."  They are dorky, for the most part, but I'm getting tons of responses and sisters are cracking up.  (I've been previewing my lessons via email and having sisters guess the answers to fill in the blank questions related to my lesson theme.  The first girl to get the right answer is the winner  of some corny prize.  My favorite prize so far was an ice cream maker - that was a big hit and had lots of folks trying hard to get the right answer!)

So anyway - we're having giveaways and I've been told this is the most fun folks have had in a long time in church.  (We fancy ourselves hysterical.)  I told the new Coordinator that I'd love to have some prize winning opportunities with Visiting Teaching. Because what says, "This will help your eternal salvation" like a prize for doing good work?

For February, she's created a quiz that VTers can use to get to know their sisters better. It's great!  But the best part?  The winner (I suppose that is the person who collects the most completed quizzes?) receives....drum roll please....The Golden V.

That's right!  We're taking a letter V - painting it gold - and going to pass that puppy around to that month's deserving companionship. Perhaps they've just been 100%ers that month. Perhaps they had to fight off someone's chickens and pigs to get to the front door of a sister and she wasn't even home.  Perhaps their sister they visited is a heroin addict and they got to help her through the detoxes. There are so many worthy reasons that will allow one to win The Golden V.

Each companionship who receives The Golden V will be able to further decorate it as they see fit prior to it being passed on, the next month, to another nearly translated companionship.

I love it - The Golden V in Relief Society! Oh yes, I think we may get released, yet!  

Look away, Mr. Mormon

This image is one artist's rendering of my Sunday. On the left, we have a member of my Bishopric.  The Bishopric member's lack of standard Sunday-go-to-meeting tie clearly shows his disregard for order and, frankly, all womankind.   On the right, we have myself.   This was as close a portrait of Beelzebub and Catherine Zeta Jones as the artist was capable of producing.

(Mr. Mormon has heard me whine about this subject, already.  So, Mr. Mormon, now would be a good time for you to exit this blog.)

But, for those of you who have not yet heard my tirade....

They (meaning the evil Bishopric of which Mr. Mormon is a part) took my VT Coordinator without asking.  Gone. Poof.  The week of our big Visiting Teaching Training meeting - the week where we are training 5 brand-spanking-new Visiting Teaching Supervisors.  I have no lists.  No papers. Nothing to give them.  And the old VT Coordinator is not typically inclined to be super helpful in these types of situations.  I don't even know what I need to ask for because I'm still a new President and am still reasonably unsure myself of how everything works.  WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH  *

Now, when I asked for a simple Enrichment Leader, if took WEEKS to get said person because no one wanted to leave the other auxiliary in a lurch. But one auxiliary needs a teacher and POOF, my Coordinator is gone without so much as a, "Hey - will this work out for you?"  Of course, she was cool as a cucumber to me on Sunday because this is the second time she's worked with me as a President and she's been released when she didn't "want" to be.  It's the second time I've gotten to come off looking like a bad guy with her, and I'm pretty well sure at this point, without a ton of work on my behalf, our relationship is shot.  Oh - and she is my visiting teacher.

I can sense that you are livid on my behalf. Thank you. It means so much.

I think the problem of not having a coordinator is well on its way to being solved, but dang, that was so uncool.  You'd think sleeping with a member of the Bishopric would get you more consideration.  

On the upside, my first funeral as a RS President went well.  My biggest faux pas was, when thanked for playing the piano at the funeral, saying, "Oh - it was my pleasure."

0_0

Did I seriously say that? As it was coming out of my mouth, I thought to myself, "STOP!  DO NOT SAY THAT!"  But my tongue and lips just kept on going in spite of my brain's frantic pleas to swallow that comment.  Why could I not have just said, "You're welcome"?  Why did I need to improvise?  Heaven help all those I try to comfort in this job. Hopefully, they'll have comfort from some other source...

* Perhaps I have over exaggerated the evilness of said Bishopric. But when you're in the thick of your crisis, they really seem to suck more than usual. I reserve the right to wax poetic about them in the future and not have any one point of that I previously mocked them.   

The rest of the story...

Setting -  Picture me (which will be hard if you do not know what I look like - imagine a Catherine Zeta Jones look-alike in this case) driving like a maniac home from church.  Picture the miniMormons looking pooped and whining they are huuuuuuuuungry and going to diiiiiiiiiiiiie.  Picture me cleverly trying to redirect the children.  

Mama - "So, what did you learn about in Primary today?"

2.0 -  (my middle miniMormon) - "My class learned about Paul."

1.0 - (the oldest mini - who thinks she is the third parent) - "Which Paul? From the Bible? Paul Harvey?"

Mama - "Yes 1.0 - Paul Harvey!  He is instrumental in our salvation."

Good day!

A week in the life of the Relief Society President

This time last week, I was meeting a sister who had a lovely home, a Ph. D, and no money.  And a husband with cancer.  She was out of money (she cannot work right now due to health reasons and has used up all of her unemployment) and had bills beginning to accumulate. And no food.

In swoops the handy dandy Relief Society President!  Here to hear your woes and feed you from head to toes.  (Work with me - I felt a rhyme coming on!)  We spent 2.5 hours reviewing her life and what we could do.  Then, I went and got my kids (at 9:30 pm) and tucked them into bed.  (And got that order to the Bishop.  Riddle me this - if I do the orders - arrange everything - and sit and hold folks' hands - why is it called the BISHOP'S STOREHOUSE?)

Since that day, I've done 2 more food orders.  I've picked one sister up for church (when I wasn't planning to go - my kid was sick) and another up for an Enrichment activity.  One of those food orders, I delivered to the third floor of an apartment building - to an empty home (no one could meet me.)  Ohhhhh - that was a hoot and a half hauling 2 weeks of groceries up 2 flights of stairs.  A friend helped me, so I took her some flowers for her assistance.

I've also reviewed a (really crappy) mission plan and talked folks in off the ledge about it and I worked with the VT Coordinator to rearrange some routes.  That is one never ending job.

I also went scouting for new sisters in my copious spare time.  My counselor and I went to 7 homes.  We were able to meet with one sister who is very ill and needs surgery and were able to come up with a plan of how to get her some help.  I made all the necessary phone calls to get that squared away.  All the other houses were notes left in doors - and then all the emails that need to go out to the other auxiliaries letting them know I left notes in doors all over town.

Yesterday, I got a call that someone's child is dying. Tonight, I got a call that someone's father died. Then I called the woman whose child is dying to tell her the other woman's father died and tried to be a good friend to both.  Speaking of talking to folks,  I found out this week that one person's interloper mother who has moved in smokes weed all the time and another girl's husband's jail stint is looking like it will be longer than we'd all hoped for.

This past weekend, I had all my Sunday meetings and even played the piano for 'em.  I arranged for one (starving) sister to meet with the Bishop during that time so that we could get her fed and I made sure everyone had their 2008 study guides and manuals.  Oh - and I went to a meeting this Saturday about the BISHOP'S STOREHOUSE. (Insert eye rolling face there.)

That's one week of my life.  And I left out a lot.  Like all the messages on the machine.  And the ride-arranging nightmares.  And the 6 emails I received in 20 minutes alone this morning.  

When I consecrated my time to serve, I guess I thought there'd be time left over to clean bathrooms or paint some rooms I've been wanting to for so long. Or bathe or work out. There's not.  But I think it could be worse.  I could be the Bishop.

Tomorrow I'm going on a field trip with 2.o (my middle daughter) and I'm looking forward to having a reason to not answer my cell phone and deal with anyone else's life emergencies.  I love my friends and I love my religion and I love having a day off.  Of course, I do not love spending it with First Graders, but it's better than cleaning my carpets....which is what I'll be doing when I come home...provided there's not a Relief Society emergency!

Half of me

Half of me hopes no one finds this blog. I want to say what I want to say without anyone who lives in my zip code finding out.

The other half of me hopes I have some homeys show up and can make new friends - particularly new friends I don't have to watch every word with. he he he

This calling of Relief Society President has been insane. The past President promised me I was not jumping out of the frying pan with my previous calling and into the fire, but she lied. Maybe not lied, but it certainly wasn't accurate. I feel like I broke the ward. I've had my calling less than 6 months and have already completed more food orders than the previous President did in her entire tenure. It seems like while the sisters are happy (which is huge) there is so much drama drama drama. Unhealthy people, unhealthy children, lack of money, husbands in jail, divorce on the horizon, testimony struggles, testimony struggles of spouses that affect the sisters, no place to live, unsuitable places to live...that's the bad half.

The good half - I seem to have more hours in my day. On Monday, I went to do a food order - which is usually a 2 hour process. Amazingly, I did the order, taught the sister some about nutrition, made a 2-week menu, and was back to the babysitter in a smidge over an hour. What a blessing! It's like a miracle of extra minutes. It's not in the New Testament, but it is on a blog.

More good - I have amazing counselors. Truly. Others say this - but if we were to have a competition, mine would win as the most amazing. The sisters of the ward want to help us. I have so many offers of assistance. I need to figure out how to utilize the help best, though. I struggle there.

Being Relief Society President puts a lot of things in perspective. You hear real problems and your own are put in perspective. You have so much love, you think your heart will burst. I can't believe how much I love these women. I feel very defensive about them - especially when the Bishop raises a concern with some aspect of someone's life. I've found myself more than once getting on a soapbox about how great the individual is. (Have I mentioned I think I scare the Bishop. He's a good, good guy. Best in the stake. Heaven help us both to live through this!)

While I haven't become more wise, I certainly feel more patience for others lack of wisdom. I've learned that for the most part, one size does not fit all. The same (secular) advice is not going to work for everyone. The only thing that will save folks unilaterally is the gospel. As crazy as life is right now and as stressful (I go to sleep thinking of sisters who need help and I wake up the same way!), I am already afraid for when I will not be specifically charged with worrying about them. I have such joy in their successes - I feel like a mother of 140-something grown women, most of whom are older than I am - and I am already fearful of who will care for them next! Will she love them as much as I do? Will she be patient with them? Will she be able to fill in where I failed and help those I could not reach?

I'm in a half and half world right now. But while half of me wants so desperately to become Methodist, half of me just couldn't feel more blessed! With a whole heart, I welcome ya to my blog. It won't all be drudgery about my calling - but frankly - some of it will be. In the meantime, let's have some fun!