Get your Relief Society President Yentl on and sing with me.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
To the tune of "Matchmaker, matchmaker."
Posted by Mama at 10:15 AM 5 comments
Labels: food orders, Relief Society
Monday, March 16, 2009
Yeah - I had 4 cookies after dinner last night.
Posted by Mama at 3:45 AM 4 comments
Labels: Relief Society, whine
Monday, March 9, 2009
Microwave, microwave...
…wherefore art thou microwave? These are troubled times, my friends. There’s a recession, we’re all grumpy from the Daylight Savings Time switch, and the fashions this season continue to be blah, gray, and paper-sack-esque. Dark times have befallen all of us. But my times are darkest of all. However bad off you are, I’m WORSE. You might not have known how hard things are here…I’ve tried to keep a stiff upper lip. I’ve done my dang darnedest to rise above my own challenges and dramas and continue to be a good listener and friend to all. But know this now…I’m in a bad, ugly place. Woe is me. Woe is all the heck over me. “Why?” you might ask, filled with shock and awe. I’ll tell you why. Since January, I, Mama T. Mormon - wife to one, mother to three, friend to many - have been utterly and completely MICROWAVE-FREE. No nuking is going on here. No quickie baked potatoes as a snack. I cannot look in the small, opaque, double-paned-for-my-safety window and ask, “What do I see?” There is no microwave-popcorn popping for me. I’ve tried to man up on this one. I’ve been all, “Ohhh - let’s see how much we can save not using microwaveable veggies for dinner!” I’ve learned how to use all my stove’s burners at once. People - I’ve popped the Hungry Man meal in the TOASTER OVEN. And have I whined? Complained? Cursed the microwave gods? Oh no - I haven’t. Until now. I spent weeks and weeks waiting while my (dear, sweet, mildly detail-obsessive) husband went to his Hunter Man place - aiming to bring me home the very best microwave at the very cheapest price. Of course, the best ones weren’t in stock at ANY store in East Mormonville. Nor were they readily available on-line. But we persevered. And finally, one was delivered. For a fee, of course. Then, our installer’s father had a heart attack, so we had to wait a full-on week until he could make it to us. The nice part of that was that we were able to use the box the appliance was in as a sort of console table in the front hall to collect things. Polly Pockets enjoyed playing there a great deal. I believe I dusted it only once. Finally, our installer friend was able to steal away from the ICU unit long enough to help us. I only had to rearrange 3 or 4 things for that to be do-able. And it all was going swimmingly - except that the microwave was way too small for the hole over the stove. At least we only had to pay the delivery charge. And the shipping and stuff. Maybe a fee to dump the old micro. But that’s all. Not too much. We were back to the proverbial 50% power button - only to find out - basically, we needed to upgrade our expectations. No cheapie micro was going to fit in that behemoth space. So we special ordered. And waited, and waited. And paid the bill in advance. And waited. Today - allegedly, there is a microwave in for us. But no one can seem to find it at the store. So hear I sit. No microwave. A lot of money gone, and no microwave. It’s March folks. The last time I nuked something was back in JAN-U-ARY! If I don’t get to radiate some product soon, I’m going to lose it. And not in a cute George-W-when-he-got-tongue-tied-giving-a-speech kind of “lose it” fashion. We’re talking I’m going to go full on insane if I cannot heat up a Hot Pocket stat. You think you’ve got problems? You don’t know from problems. You want to see a hard life? Come live here. Know hardness.
Posted by Mama at 6:38 PM 4 comments
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Winner Winner.....
Posted by Mama at 1:50 PM 5 comments
Labels: competition, music, Valentine's Day
Friday, February 13, 2009
Rejected Superbowl Ad
Tell me what you think.
Posted by Mama at 12:28 PM 5 comments
Labels: abortion, Obama ad, Superbowl commericals
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
How much do you like cows?
Do you like them enough to drink their milk?
Do you like them enough to not eat them?
Do you like them enough to visit them at the petting zoo?
Do you like them enough to drink their tinkle?
Why did it suddenly get so quiet?
Some folks in India are proposing slurping on a bovine brew of cow urine as an alternative to cola drinks.
Sacred cow or not, I just can't embrace that one. It's just too mooch, I mean, much.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/food_and_drink/article5707554.ece
Posted by Mama at 11:51 AM 4 comments
Labels: cola drinks, cows, India
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Riddle me this?
Why are we all so dang mad about that California mother getting herself inseminated and having a litter of kids?
Sure - she'll be using the welfare system to help raise them. But tons of other folks use government dollars to raise their children and, already on assistance, get preggers with more youngins. So, why are we so ticked at her?
And yes, her parents have helped her raise the kids. But come on - we all have a friend/ne'er do well cousin/neighbor who is raising/supporting/housing an adult child and their children. Do we get in a tizzy over them?
Is it the size of the girl's family that sets us off? I don't think so - because we all know big, poor, Catholic families that we love. Who doesn't love John and Kate Plus 8? We swoon for the Jolies. We love big Mormon families a little less than big Catholic families and John and Kate...and large families of Pentecostals (the Duggars) even less than that. I've noticed a general American pattern in that we don't mind a hefty, poor family as long as you are mainstream-religious, highly tattooed, or a celebrity. Is that why we don't like this big family - because they don't fall into an acceptable "camp"? If she had a pack of nannies trailing behind her and got her children from overseas, would we be more agreeable about it all?
I listened to a friend today go on and on about how these children would grow up disadvantaged being raised in a home with only a mother and with so many cumulative children vying for her limited resources. She doubted the babies would receive adequate individual attention. Of course, my friend works full-time because she goes nuts being around her own brood all day and she is all for gay marriage and single women being inseminated because she says it's a woman's right to choose if she wants to have children and how they will be raised. So, is it fair for her to not give this CA mother the same regard? Isn't it her body and her family to raise as she sees fit - just the same as Tom and Frank down the street?
It might sound, from my post, like I think it's just dandy to have 14 kids under the age of 8 with no real, substantive education, no father in the home, and no earned wage coming in. But the truth is, I don't. I just can't quite put my finger on exactly why it is so wrong to me. The entire situation smacks of abuse somehow, but when I dissect it, I find myself saying, "Yeah - it's wrong for her to have 14 kids, but it's noble when others adopt that many." I make myself sick saying, "If she had more means, I'd be fine with this" as so many people wouldn't exist on the planet if their parents had waited to have enough money to raise them before they conceived. Money is not equal to love. I can't quite figure out why it angers me - and most of the American public - to the degree that it does, but boy, the story sure does rile us all up.
Maybe it's because I take motherhood so seriously and I don't know that she does - and I sanctimoniously sit in judgement of her? Maybe I'm a bit jealous - I always wanted a big family and it turns out, I have a little one. I would love to sneak a couple of those babies into my home. Is that why my ire gets up over this? Or is it that I feel my good nature and desire for all to have the help they need to raise their family being abused as I see a deliberate abuse of the welfare system? I'm definitely incensed that there is not a regulation about how many embryos can be implanted in a womb, but we regulate how many CCs of saline can be pumped into a woman's chest. Did you know you have to leave the country if you want really huge ta-tas? But you can have, quite literally, a litter of babies put in your gut no questions asked. And speaking of plastic surgery - I am lead to think....maybe I'm just ticked that CA mother has had so much cosmetic surgery and I am easily more deserving. Has anyone else noticed her face has had substantial work?
I suspect it's a culmination of all of those thoughts of mine that have me ticked off that this is allowed to happen. I wish I could go scoop up all the octuplets and place them for adoption to mothers and fathers desperate to have just one child to adore.
While I can't put my finger on exactly what has me so riled up, I do know this - there are 14 children who need a lot of love and attention in California and I hope they will be blessed...in spite of their mother's choices. Heaven help them all...
Posted by Mama at 3:00 PM 6 comments